#7: Questionnaire: Up To You
I've been trying not to look at him but his eyes keep trailing to me.
He knows I'm aware of it because he chuckles every time I shiver.
Keep smiling. Keep smiling. Keep smiling.
Don't you dare let your eyes trail over to him....
Focus. Focus. Focus.
…That damn lip....
“Hi, honey” I said to one of the Barbz in front of me. Her eyes widened and I could see her body freeze up in shock. I gently took the poster from her hands and signed it as she continued to stare at me in a frozen state. I gave her a small smile as one of the body-guards ushered her down the line after I handed her back her poster. I could see her tears build up as she finally let out a gasp. I averted my eyes from her presence trying not to let my Barbz emotions get to me as the next girl walked. I signed more things only having a brief moment to look up at the person in front of me. “Will you marry me?” I heard a deep voice say as I looked up to hand a young guy his signed poster. I chuckled as I watched him get on his knee, “You're so young, babe!.” I said giving him a little smile as the young 17 year old got up with a hopeful smile still on his face. I could feel Drake's eyes on the us as he took his signed poster from my hands.
I wish Drake would focus on his own stuff.
I casually glanced down the line at my label mates and let my eyes linger on Drake for a second. Replays of his lips on mine popped into my head. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before bringing my attention back to my work at hand.
We had been signing for a good two hours and we still had awhile to go. We decided to get a mini break for about five to ten minutes. I could here the crowd grumble a little as a few of us stood. I turned towards SB asking for my water as I flexed my hand. I slowly trailed my gaze over all the figures talking as I silently sat in my chair. My eyes ended up landing on a curly head and trailing down the maturely defined features of his face. I continued to trail my eyes down his masculine features towards his lips as he smiled his contagious grin. I felt my self half smile.
His tongue sneaked out to swipe at his lips, I bite my bottom lip in reaction, my eyes turning to lazy slits as I watched his mouth move in continuous conversation. My head tilted slightly as he laughed and his eyes closed momentarily.
“Nicki!” I heard yelled from next to me. I jumped in my chair causing the others to look at me as I turned my head towards SB, embarrassed and irritated. “WHAT!” I exclaimed giving him a look. He gave me a look back as he handed me my water. I tried to calm my blushing face as I accepted the water with a quiet grumbling of thank you. Sb gave a confused and odd look and I rolled my eyes turning from him, still recovering from embarrassment. My pocket buzzed as my phone vibrated. I pulled it out glad to have a distraction. I stiffened staring at the text. I glanced up, the sender was now sitting, having ended his previous conversation. “Don't stare so hard, babe.” I rolled my eyes as he caught my gaze. He smirked in return and I looked away closing the message and setting my phone back into my pocket. I grabbed a permanent marker as the guards announced to the crowd we were starting up again.
4 more hours of signing later, we had finally finished. Everyone cheered as the last person left and we all applauded for each other. The guys talked about heading to the club in celebration of a successful day/night. I shook my head in amusement as I gathered my things. “You coming with us, Nic?” Mack Maine asked me glancing as we all walked. “No, I'm going to pass on this one.” “Boo!” some of them chorused. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, “Nigga, please, like you care as soon as you get your drink and chick you're not gonna give a damn!” “Well!” T-Streetz said shrugging in response. I laughed scanning the group as I lingered back some. “We know Drake ain't going since he gotta leave for a show” Wayne stated as he lead the group. I looked around a little for Drake to see his reaction. He casually leaned on the side of the wall as they passed him, “Well you know, man, business first.” He stated, his gaze locked on me as he spoke. I moved my eyes from him and looked at Safaree as he talked to one of the bodyguards walking near my right side a little ahead of me.
A few bodyguards lingered behind me as I tried to ignore Drake's figure. I messed with the ends of my hair fixing them repeatedly, as we neared him. I tried continuously to get Safaree's attention for help but to no avail.
I silently neared Drake, watching in my peripheral vision as he pulled off the wall just like I knew he would. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked lowly. “Um...” I said searching again for an excuse. I caught SB's eyes this time and motioned him over with a quick widening of my eyes before looking back at Drake. “Uh, later...I'm going to be late for something....” I started letting my words trail as Sb came closer, “You ready?” I asked Safaree turning from Drake trying avoid finishing my statement. “I guess-” “Let's go.” I made my way from Drake, hitching my purse on my shoulder as I headed near a different exit leaving him behind. A confused Safaree followed behind me. “We had time.” SB stated as we walked up to my car and we both got in. I buckled and started the car as I stated, “I know just....don't worry about it.” I held back my sigh as he continued to look at me before shaking his head knowing I wasn't going to say anything more. He buckled up as I pulled out of the parking lot and made my way back to the hotel.
~A week and a half later~
Studio time, interviews, ustreams, club appearances, performances and photo shoots, that is what my life has been about without rest. To say I'm am relieved to have this break is an understatement. This bed is so glorious to me, the warmth. I've gotten rid of Safaree for the day, which wasn't hard. The house is to myself and I don't plan on leaving it. I haven't even been able to think about having a personal life with all the things I have been doing. I, especially, haven't had time to think about Drake...well, at least I tried not to, he is my best friend after all. He's on his mini tour, luckily, so he didn't have time to pester me about the conversation he was trying to have with me a week or so ago. That wasn't even suppose to happen again. The first time that kissed happened it had turned into a complete disaster when the media found out. A slip up that will never happen again; which was what I told him the first time it was settled...that was of course before the whole Trey incident.... then that second kiss.
I can't handle this I need to stop thinking and just watch this series of Judge Judy I haven't been able to get through, nigga over here in my thoughts wasting my rest time.
This is my day.
I was drawn from my thoughts by a knock on the door. I sighed getting up grumpily as I made my way downstairs unamused. I looked at the security camera by the front door and my eyes widened at the sight of Drizzy standing there looking right back at me through the camera. “What. The. Fuck.” I stated. I pressed the speaker button, leaning into the mic“What are you doing here?” I questioned confused. “I'd let you know if you'd let me in before the paparazzi figure out I'm here.” He stated still looking directly at the camera as if he could see me. I bit my lip glancing down at my big t-shirt that covered my black thong and bra. “Great.” I stated releasing the speaker button and pressing the button next to it to unlock the front door. I walked into the living room and sat down as I heard the loud buzz echo my house and my front door open and close with a lock. I stared at the blank TV as I listened for his footsteps heading to my living room.
I could feel his presence as he entered. His scent spread through out the room as I took a breath holding back a shiver. “Hey.” He stated from behind me. “Hi.” I said in a small voice. I could here him take a deep breath as he moved from behind me and sat on the love seat facing next to the couch I had placed myself. We sat in my 'L' shaped living room silent for a few beats before he broke the tense air. “Are we going to talk?” “You came here...” I said trailing off glancing at him and then at the wall behind him. He sighed again and moved to the couch I sat on. He sat on the far corner. “Can you at least look at me, Nicki” he said trying to catch my eyes. My eyes went to his as if on command. I stared up at him through my lashes. I could sense him fighting the temptation of trailing his eyes down my body and focus on my eyes.
“What are you doing here, Drake?” I asked. I leaned back on the arm of the couch, ankles crossed, and legs occupying some of the length of the couch as he sat at the end of my feet. “I told you we needed to talk.” “Aren't you suppose to be on tour?” “Aren't you suppose to be at the recording studio?” He questioned back. “I'm on break.” I stated with slight attitude. “So am I.” he said eyes locked on mine.
We were both silent for a beat staring at each other. I let my eyes travel over before looking back at him. His eyes were lingering on my form trailing the same way mine had before; he met my eyes with a small smirk. I rolled me eyes holding back a un-needed laugh. He was so contagious.
“So....are we going to talk about it?” “I guess since you're here...” I responded. “Are you going to admit you're in love with me?' he asked his smirk growing. I rolled my eyes. “Drake, don't start with me on that, we've been over this” I shifted in my seat crossing my arms over my chest and turning my head to look at the blank screen of the TV. “I know we have that's why I don't understand how you could just go with Trey and -” “Drake, can we not talk about that...” I asked cutting him off before he could finish. “Why not?” His sudden frustration was noticeable through his posture. “Can we just not...” “I don't understand how you can just fuck him, Nic” His face scrunched up in confusion letting a look of hurt pass over his eyes. “The same way you could hurt me on stage.” I stated back at him blocking my emotions for a moment. “The same way you could let me kiss you again?” he retorted his facial expression changing as he met my eyes with a questioning stare. “I-I...” My mind drew a blank momentarily at his comment before I retorted, “You kissed ME, both times” “You sure as hell didn't stop me” “I was trying to be nice!” I said rolling my eyes with a pout at my lame retort “I'm sure you were, Nicki” he said sarcastically. “Whatever...” I mumbled. “You can't help yourself, huh?” I glanced up at him surprised at what he was saying. My eyes turn to slit as I eyed him. “Are you getting cocky, Aubrey?” I asked with attitude evident in my tone. “In more ways then you can imagine...” he stated letting his eyes purposely travel from my eyes down to my shirt which was riding up from my continuous unconscious fidgeting and arm crossing.
I yanked at my shirt bringing it down before feeling his hand grab my wrist, seizing my motions. I locked eyes with him ready to snatch my arm back. The longing in his eyes sent shivers down my body and my eyes fluttered involuntarily and he trailed his eyes to my arm where my goose bumps were evident and down to my thigh which held goose bumps as well. He smirked knowingly at me. I finally broke away from the trance I was in and yanked my arm back.
“You can't help it.” He stated this time, looking directly at me. I stayed silent and looked down at my lap mentally frustrated at myself for reacting to him. “Hey...” he said using one hand to lift my head so our eyes would meet, “neither can I” he stated his voice hitting a baritone as he let the lust drip from his words. I bit my lip unconsciously and felt him tug my lip from between my teeth with the hand that was placed on my chin.
He trailed his hands down from my chin, down my hair, across my left thigh, down to my calf and gently grasped my ankle. He turned his self to face me fully and uncrossed my ankles. I watched him hazed as he tugged me a little bringing me closer as I slid on my back suppressing my breath momentarily. I breathed out the air as he brought his lips to my ankle and slowly pressed them against my skin. He watched me, his eyes never leaving me as he moved up my body slowly kissing the skin of my leg up to my thigh. He moved his kisses inward as he came closer to my core. I felt him take a deep breath before he moved to my other thigh and kissed slowly and surpassed my core lifting my shirt to kiss my hip bone.
My mind was in a buzz, a high of some other spectrum. I wasn't even aware you could feel this good with such simple actions.
He kissed my other hip bone letting his tongue peak from his lips to lick at my salty skin. My eyes fluttered at his action and he finally moved his gaze from me to the tie of my thong around my hips. He nipped at the string snapping it lightly against my skin before using his teeth to slowly untie the left black bow. As the strings fell from his mouth he kissed the spot it had previously sat at and moved to the other hip and untied that one the same way. He locked eyes with me as my breath steadily became heavy and my lids half lazily look at him in curiosity. “Do you want me, Nicki?” He asked his voice deep in a way I had never heard before. I didn't respond due to my euphoria state. He began to move back and I opened my mouth in protest and he stopped his movements and lifted an eyebrow. I closed my mouth and went to speak again but my words caught in my throat. He went to move again and I squeaked out, quietly, “Drake...” He looked at me and saw the look on my face and sighed giving in. He offered his hand as he stood. I grasped it quickly letting him pull me up, my thong traveling to the floor. I looked at it before looking up at him. He licked his lips and pulled me into him and kissed me.
My eyes immediately fluttered shut at the passion he projected into it. “Fuck...” I mumbled into his lips as he worked them perfectly. I wrapped my arms around his neck pressing myself into him. He trailed his hands to my ass and squeezed. I moaned quietly into him before he pulled back and said, “Now tell me you don't feel something.” I mumbled under my breath before he pressed his lips harshly into mine and turned us around backing me into the wall near the love seat he had sat on earlier. He pressed me into the wall and he moved his lips down my neck to suck on my skin. “Tell me you want me, Nicki” He said as I tilted my head to give him more access. “I-I...”I tried to get out the words as he had his way with my neck, letting his tongue snake out and taste my skin once more. I let out a light moan as a trail of cuss words left my mouth. “Tell me.” He demanded as he pressed into me more, nipping at my collar bone. “I want you.” I said in one breath. He kissed me again fiercely letting his hand trail down my thigh as he pressed a finger right at the lips of my core, making me let out an immediate satisfied moan at his touch. He moved slowly, stroking as I bit my bottom lip, a moans slipping out from the corners of my lips.
“Drake....” “Do you care about me, Nicki?” I moaned as I nodded. “I want to hear you say it, baby” he murmured in my ear as he placed a kiss blow my ear. “Yes, Drake, I care.” I forced out. He rubbed at me at a faster pace. “How much do you want me right now?” He continued questioning me. He was killing me with these fucking questions and he knew it. He was getting me at my weakest point. “I want you so fucking much” I said emphasizing my words as I squeezed my eyes shut in bliss. I felt his fingers slip into me and I arched my back in a natural reaction as a loud moan left my throat. I heard him growl into the side of my neck as he quietly added another finger, creating a speedy rhythm. “Drake...” I moaned at him. “Hmm, baby?” I couldn't get any words to form in order to continue speaking. “Why did you fuck Trey?” he asked his voice turning serious. If I hadn't been in the state I was, I probably wouldn't have answered his sly ass. He knew I that I wanted it all and I would do what was needed to get it. “Drake” I groaned half in pleasure half in exasperation. He speed up and I moaned loudly nestling my head into the crook of his neck. He started to slow down to a painfully slow pace. “Don't-” I tried to get out. “Answer the question, Nic” he requested.
“Ahhh...” I managed to get out. “Not an answer, Nicki.” he said slowing down even more. “Fuck! I was tipsy!” I yelled breathlessly. He speed up as soon as the words left my lips. “Was his touches better than mine?” he whispered lowly into my ear as he speed up tremendously. “Fuck, no” I whispered back my head in the crook of his neck. He brought me to my edge before he stopped abruptly. I groaned my face scrunching in frustration as the echo of his small chuckle met my ears. I snapped my eyes open to glare at him but was surprised to see him getting on his knees smirking up at me. He grasped my hips positioning himself between my thighs. I watched as he hitched my leg on his shoulder still keeping eye contact with me. He kissed my hitched thigh keeping his eyes on me while I tried to keep my eyes open once again. He sucked at the skin lightly moving forward, his eyes still on my face. I let my head fall back onto the wall as he looked down at his lap where drips of my wetness landed on his clothed pants leg. He smirked up at me and lifted my shirt up with his other hand as he continued to grasp my thigh.
He leaned his head forward and I bit my lip in anticipation but after a few seconds passing I looked back down at him in confusion. To my surprise he grasp my other thigh and hitched my other leg onto his shoulder, pressing me against the wall. I almost grabbed at him, before feeling him steady himself. His hands balanced us on either side of me, holding us steady against the wall as he leaned his head into my core and swiped at me with his tongue.
Nothing could compare to the moment as he feasted on my core letting my moans fill the house and my pitch change to new heights. I moaned out incomprehensible things as I grasped his head with one hand pushing him into me. He moved back and looked up at me, letting one of my legs come off his shoulder. He used that hand to press at my core and rub as he asked me to open my eyes. I was breathless as he continued pleasuring me. “Do you love me, Nicki?” I was officially at my weakest point and I just wanted to hit the edge and fall overboard. “Do you love me, Nicki?” he asked speeding up his fingers to in impeccable speed. I moaned the loudest I had so far. “Nicki....” I locked my eyes on him “YES! I LOVE YOU! OKAY!? FUCK DRAKE! I'VE ALWAYS HAD! FUCK! NO MORE QUESTIONS!” He gave me a shit eating grin. I rested my head back onto the wall my head tilted as he speed up even more, my back arching at the pleasure that filled my body.
“One more question” he stated. I cried out. “Drake!” “You want me, you love me?” I irritated gritted my teeth I couldn't understand what more he wanted to hear. I tiredly stated in desperation “Yes, Drake. FUCK! Yes! Yes, I want you, yes, I love you!” “Then cum for me, baby” he said his voice dripping in sex as he leaned into me and multitask, working his tongue and fingers. I cried out as he hit my g-spot continuously until I finally dived over the edge.
He let my leg fall from his shoulder as he licked his lips with a smile. I leaned on the wall spent my legs shaking a little. He stood up and grasped my hands as I tried to move from the wall. “You good?” He asked. “Fantastic.” I stated tiredly running a hand through my hair. I gave my self a moment before moving my weight from the wall.
He continued to stare at me but not with the excitement I expected him to, considering he had gotten me to confess just about everything he ever wanted to hair. “What?” I asked quietly feeling a slight self-consciousness only he could get me to have. “Did you really mean everything you said...from the Trey thing to the I love yous?” He tilted his head slightly waiting for my response. I confusedly gazed back at him. “Yea...of course I did, Drake.” He nodded and serious/determined look continued to take over his self-composure.
“I want you to come for me, Nicki.” I let a small giggle fall from my lips as I stated, “ I thought I already did that, Drake.” I looked at him playfully, watching as he let a small smile settle on his faith at my amusement before his serious posture occupied his demeanor again. I scrunched my face in confusion. “What are you talking about, Drake?” I asked quietly. “I want you to come after me, Nicki. As much as I want to believe you, you and I both know that you would've said anything at that point.” I was taken back as I asked with a hard laugh, “You want me to PROVE my love for you?” my head rolled a little as he nodded. “Are you serious, Drake?!” I said in a surprised way. “Nicki, do you know how long I wanted to hear you say the things you just told me?” I blinked as I counted up four years.
“Four years, Nicki. Can you just do this for me?” He asked. “You want me to come for you..” I restated to him. He nodded once again. “That's it.” He said. I blinked up at him. Seeing me frozen he sighed and grabbed the jacket I hadn't noticed he had brought with him. “That's it, Nicki.” He said again as he looked at me again. I went to say something but no words could form. He gave me another moment before he headed to the door. I followed him slowly watching him. “I love you, Onika.” He stated stopping and looking me dead in the eye. “I need this one thing from you.” He leaned down and pressed his full lips against my forehead and I let my eyes close in that moment feeling all his care and affection. He pulled away from me and walked out after another statement of love.
Until that moment I never realized we never do really say goodbye.
It was always a statement of love and than an exit.
I don't think that will ever change, regardless the situation.
“I love you too, Aubrey.” I whispered as he pulled out my driveway and through my house gates.
Not gonna lie, I wasn't going to update with this chapter because I thought (and still think) it was complete crap. Luckily, I have great writers and friends in TM who encouraged me and practically co-signed this chapter with their verification.
SHOUT OUT TO MAYA AND EBONY.
I hope you guys like it. Don't forget to comment. I didn't start typing this chapter til the comments reached 5. It was a really slow painful process waiting for it, trust me I felt it as much as you guys did! Thank all of you guys for the consistent reads and comments, it's definitely appreciated. ON A SIDE NOTE: Nicki Followed me on twitter in the time that I last updated and today. 1/24=BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Anyways, mucho love and thanks for reading! Spread the word!!!! xD