Thursday, December 27, 2012

Well Hello There Again...

Evidently...finishing up school is much more stress and extremely more emotionally revolting than I thought it would be. However, I STILL have not forgotten about this story :) Unfortunately some of my inspiration for writing this has faded. I do still have my notes and I still have my outlines for each chapter that I had set in stone. I don't know how capable I am of finishing this story in a timely manner but I WILL FINISH THIS STORY IF IT KILLS ME... and it just might :)

Also! Since I have your attention, if you're into poetry and I'm not talking about "roses are red, violets are blue I love you" type shit, I mean REAL indepth, mind-boggling poetry check out He's literally amazing on a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL. It's something that can get overwhelming so take his work piece by piece don't just dive in and don't just be judgmental if you don't like one thing.

On ANOTHER note, I'll be starting a Poem series which will just be random shit I write posted soon...that's my thing for 2013. :) I'll keep you guys updated on that progress because I'm still kind of stingy about my work and don't know if I want to share THAT portion of my life yet.

I hope you all are doing well and have a blessed New Years!

-xoxo Bee

Thursday, August 2, 2012

A/N :) I'M BACK!

       Hey guys! If you know me... or follow me on twitter you know I've been traveling a hell of a lot this summer! I was hoping to get some sit down time to type up a few chapters but that definitely didn't happen. I'm finally home for the rest of the summer...which isn't saying much because school starts up in about twelve days.  My goal is to put out a chapter or two before then because you guys have been so patient with me :) I almost had to cancel this story because I had lost ALL MY NOTES. (Traveling disorganized). However, I found them and I will getting back into my two updates a month thing for now no promises! Just know that this story will be finished! Thank you again for sticking with me :) Be blessed! Prosper! Stay inspired!


Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Flashback #12-What's the Worth: SCENARIO SEVEN

        I smiled at the crowd as I disappeared into the SUV once again. I had taken the brief moments I had throughout the day to figure out exactly how I was going to fix this (which proved to be seemingly more and more difficult).  "Safaree, call Drake and tell him I need to have a meeting with him and his management." I said as I wrote down the very few scenarios I had managed to come up with. I sighed as I used one hand to play with the ends of my wig.
        As I finished writing down everything I could think of I picked up my phone to text Wayne and let him know about the meeting I was planning tomorrow.
I heard Safaree on the phone and mumbled at him to tell Drake it was tomorrow at whatever time was available for everyone. I listened for Safaree to restate the information before sending the text to Wayne.
        I immediately got a reply to my surprise. "He must be in the studio" I mumbled to myself before reading his response. "You work on your toes, Barbie. I like that. I've got a show that night so as long as the meeting's in the morning I don't care what time you pick. Just don't interfere with my rehearsal & show." Oh? Oop!" I said a loud with a quick eyebrow raise after reading it. "Well damn, Wayne." I mumbled while texting a response: "I'll let you know as soon as I get word from Drake. Safaree is on the phone with him now."
        "Hey Nic, Drake said would eight work?" SB called back at me turning a little in his seat. "Yea, that's fine." I said without glancing up. "Kew" he said turning forward again. "Yea she said that works" he spoke into the phone. "I didn't say that you, bafoon. I said that's fine." I mumbled rolling my eyes. Not hearing a response I glared momentarily at my phone as I typed the time of the meeting to Wayne.
        I decided to check on my barbz (since I hadn't tweeted all day) and see what they were up to (as well as complain about how ignorant Safaree was being).
        "Barbz…why are niggas always putting words in my mouth???" I tweeted. Two seconds later over 1000 replies and 3000 retweets.

"@NICKIMINAJ Who we gotta drag, nic?"
"Naw, they ain't about that life @NICKIMINAJ"
"That's the closes they can get to dem lips @NICKIMINAJ!"
"@NICKIMINAJ Cause you the boss, mamacita!"
"Follow me!!!! @NICKIMINAJ

        "It was Safaree, barbs. Drag him." I smiled wickedly glancing up to see if he had his phone out since he had just ended the phone call with Drake.
        I giggled as they started and retweeted the really good ones as Safaree sat in his obliviousness in front of me.
        In the middle of one of my replies I received a text from Wayne agreeing with the plan. I texted him back ignoring the shuffling sound coming from the front of the car. "Wooow. Really Nic!" SB said in a semi-loud tone. I smirked and let a small giggle surpass my lips before cheesing widely at him. I brought my attention back to my phone as it beeped a loud. "See you then, barbie." I rolled my eyes smirking a little before sending back a short text of agreement.

*Next Day*

        "So, lil Nic. What's the plan?" Wayne asked folding his hands while leaning forward. Our meeting had just started after a short awkward exchange of greetings and some ice breaking jokes that Wayne had thrown out to lighten the mood.
        I let my eyes trail over the people at the table starting on my right where Wayne sat next to Baby. Drake sat across from me and next to him his manager. My manager sat next to him and then Safaree and back to me. "Well, I went over some conclusions" I began passing around a sheet of paper with a summary of each, "and I want to know which one you guys think would work best or if you have any better ones in mind." "Number four says promotional dating? That's something that's very....uhh overdone in the industry, dont you think?" Drake's management questioned. "But it does what it's meant to do. I mean...usually the fans and media catch on but it still keeps them talking and gives that unfading buzz." Wayne supplied into the conversation. "My ordeal with that is we've been through a similar scenario of this whole relationship rumor mill before-" "Well wouldn't that make it easier to believe? We are already in the basic situation anyways. People are already questioning whether you were dating or are dating. We can just have a confirmation press conference." "Okay but i don't agree with that. Rumors are one thing but confirming some bullshit to my barbz just for media's not something I'm willing to deal with." "Well, out of the list it seems like the most reasonable-"
        "What about number seven?" A voice spoke up as I went to cut Drake's manager from further endorsing the scenario I had only placed on there (contrast to my better judgement)  because I wanted to list all possible options. I glanced at Drake before looking at my list. A course of shock ran over me. "Drake...I dont think that's the best's bad media." Drake's management immediately spoke up. "What media is ever good?" Wayne questioned with a dark seriousness as he lighted a blunt. " I kind of agree Drake. isn't good-" I started. "I have a tour coming up" Drake interrupted, cutting me off, "I've been promoting and I think as Wayne said media attention is media atattention...if we use this scenario it'll give them something to talk about. More requests for interviews if this gets out. More promotion" Drake finished speaking staring me dead in the face, his eyes speaking a different truth then what he was saying.
        There was a brief silence as I stared back at Drake with a distinct look of confusion. I could feel Wayne and Baby's eyes pass between us. I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat as our managers began stating their opinions and discussing regulations of scenario seven.

*End of Meeting*

         The mangers shook hands as Wayne man-hugged Drake and I gave a small hug to Baby along with a mention of love. Wayne and Baby switched places as Wayne saultered over to me. Wayne said nothing before pulling me in his arms. "The kid would do anything for you Nic" Wayne spoke into my ear tightening his grip a little so I wouldn't pull away. "I know..." I stated. "Don't let him go. He loves you...whole heartedly...and love like that.....that shits hard to find. Hard as fuck." He said pulling away. "Whoa, pauz that nigga!" I said smiling and letting out a laugh. Wayne smirked before stating "You nasty, Nic. That freaks coming out of you." I one-dimple smiled before saying " Pauz that too" He chuckled before head nodding and calling out "See y'all " "Love you, Wayne! Love you, Baby" I called out loudly, blowing a kiss to them as they waved calling back love as they left.

        I began to gather up my papers and met Drake's eyes as he joked with SB. I gave him a curious look. Someone called SB's name and he exited from Drake's presence. I looked back down at what I was organizing. "Hey Nic, we gotta go. Cars here." Safaree stated poking his head back in through the door he had just exited through. "Alright!" I said glancing at Drake as he stared smirking at me.
"Iight!" SB said leaving again. There was a small silence. "Why did you choose to take the blame for this, Drake" I said sighing as I placed the papers in my hands. "Im not taking the blame... it's purely promotions" he stated walking over to me.
        I leaned against the table facing him as he walked in front if me.  "Drake..." I said in a warning tone, "That's bullshit and you know it." He chuckled before reaching for the end of my wig. I lifted an eyebrow crossing my arms as I ssid "uhh...excuse me!" He locked eyes with me and laughed before stepping back and running his hands over his face and trailing one hand run over his head and rub his neck. "It wasn't your fault.....we both were caught in the moment...but if you care for're willing to do what needs to be done to keep them the happiest you can..." he trailed off. "I care....that's why I did it." he stated looking down in my eyes. "...Thank you...." I said simply staring back up at him. He nodded before glancing at my lips. I pressed my lips together consciously.    
        He leaned into me and my breath staggered out. I let my eyes flutter close as he grew nearer to me. His lips pressed to the ccorner of my mouth and he paused speaking against my skin "You're welcome..."  before pulling away and watching me as my eyes peeled open and blinked at him. "I'll see you around, Aubrey." I stated staring him in the eyes letting my emotions be momentarily seen through my own eyes. "See you later, Onika." He responded in a low rumble. "HEY! We gotta go, Nicki! They are waiting for you to videotape this pre-show!" Safaree said walking back into the room. I looked at him as Drake backed up. "Yea..." I said glancing at Drake from the corner if my eye. I straightened up and placed my shades on. "Let's go." I stayed putting up a serious persona.  I patted Drake's chest as I passed and left to the SUV.




Tuesday, May 1, 2012


#11: Moving Mountains: Part 2

*buzzzzzz* *beep* *buzz buzzzzz* *beep*
I sighed as I thought about whether I should turn off my phone or not. His name popped up again for the fifteenth time. I rolled my eyes as my phone started buzzing again. I hit ignore and turned over in my bed, pushing the used tissues aside. It had only been half an hour or so since I had left his house. I had finally stopped crying and the feelings of saddness had stopped coming and were blocked off. I had to get myself together considering I had to go to the studio soon to record and didn't need the media on my ass (as if they aren't already....literally). I looked up at my ceiling blankly trying to free my mind just a little, though it is easier said than done. There was a period of silence that I dwelled in until my phone buzzed again. I sighed loudly before finally deciding to answer. I monotoniously asnwered my phone. "Hey Nic! Imma be there in twenty minutes so be ready." SB's vioce shouted loudly through the phone. I rolled my eyes cracking a small smile. "Kay." "You good? What's up?" He asked sounding a little clearer but still obnoxiously loud. "First, lower your voice, you sound like you're at a fucking zoo. Second, nothing... I will tell you later, just get here." "Sorry." He murmured at me "Iight, I am on my way now. Be ready!" He shouted on the last part before hanging up. I paused to squint a glare before rolling my eyes again and tossing my phone on the other side of my bed. As I repositioned myself on my bed, getting comfortable, my phone buzzed again. I huffed, absentmindedly answering my phone. "What?!" There was a brief silence from the other end and as I went to question them again. A deep chill binding voice called at me through the phone in question. I let a small shudder pass over me as I squeezed my eyes shut forcing myself to block the emotions building in my throat once again. "Nic?" They repeated at my silence. "Drake." I stated forcingly deadpanned. "Can we PLEASE just talk" he begged in my ear. "Drake....I'm tired of listening to you. I'm tired of not knowing what I'm suppose to feel about you. I'm tired Drake.... and maybe this is just a sign that we arent meant to be together. We tried. We did try and its just- Drake I cant do it anymore." I felt myself momentairly choke and knew this conversation had to end. "Goodbye, Drake". I hung up the phone and let out a shuddering breath before the tears slipped down my face and sobs broke through, shaking my body as I drenched my pillow curling into my bed, heartbroken.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


#11: Moving Mountains: Mr. Faithful
            I dragged my hands down the ends of my black wig as I got into my car. It has been a couple of weeks since Drake and I started trying this whole relationship thing. No labels exactly yet, but we both knew that we were something, that much I was sure.
          I had decided to visit Drake since it seemed that he was always coming over to my house lately, surprising me. I bit my lip holding back a smile quickly glancing around for signs of paparazzi but seeing none I buckled myself checked my appearance briefly in my rearview mirror, straightening it and shifting out of park.
It seemed that the media had given me a break lately and I was enjoying the continuous disappearance of the slandering stupid-ass bugs. I embraced every moment I could without them around.

          I sighed happily as I continued my venture to Drake’s house.  He had called me earlier that he wanted to announce something big later on today and I had bugged him to just let me know but he was persistent on waiting to properly tell me the news.
         Just the thought of waiting had made me roll my eyes and side eye my phone hoping he could feel the intensity and annoyance I was caring through the phone. Evidently, it was successful because I could hear him snicker before he commented to not get that look on my face. I once again rolled my eyes at his bull crap jokes.

         He really did make me happy which I occasionally mentioned but not to often since he tended to like to act cocky like he was the shit.

I chuckled as I reminisced on one of our conversations that took place on the back patio of my house.

            “Drake…what the hell are you doing?” I questioned holding back a small chuckle at his distraught face as he tried to loosen himself from the minor entanglement he had gotten into. “I uh…kinda- just- um…” He stuttered in replied glancing back and forth between me and the sprinkler system that was shifted and twisted up around his ankle. “How in the hell….” I began, circling him with a light laugh. He frowned as he looked back down at his foot and tugged at the knotted hoes around his ankle.
             I let one of my dimples show before retreating back a littles way unsuccessfully trying to sneak away. “Where are you going?” He questioned looking at me curiously/ suspiciously. I smirked before walking over to the sprinkler system. “Nic….” he stated with a warning tone, “Yes, babe?”I questioned with wide innocent eyes. “You better not, Nic” He warned again. “Better not what?” I questioned blanking my eyes, widening them more. He squinted at me as I let a sly look cross my face. I reached over to the control system as his eyes flashing panic. “Nic, Don’t! Stop! Fuck!” He yelled pulling at the sprinklers once again as I let out a loud giggle before turning on the sprinklers.
            A loud scream filled the air as I doubled over laughing, stomping and clapping as he was continuously sprayed in the face and anywhere else the water could reach as he moved drastically and frantically.
            After a few more seconds, I turned off the sprinklers and continued doubled over laughing as I slowly made my way over to him swaying from the repeated shifting of my weight due to my unbalanced laughter. I smiled widely at him as I neared his soaked figure. “Hey!” I stated happily as he stared up at me unamused. I chuckled and pulled his ear as I stated, “Don’t be upset, babe” I smirked until I saw something flash across his eyes, I gave him a weird look as a small evil smile crawled onto his face. He pointed down at his leg and as I glanced there I realized that my actions had helped him get out. My eyes widen a little as he began to get up.
          I turned to run taking a few steps before being softly tackled by a soaked figure. Two strong arms wrapped around my waste taking me down, rolling my once dry clothes into the wet grass. I groaned annoyed and pouted as he hovered over me after I rolled onto my back. “Fuck you” I said looking him in the eyes.
        He chuckled before capturing my lips with his and deepening it momentarily. “Hmm, maybe later” I rolled my eyes shoving him off me as he laughed laying beside me.
            A few peaceful minutes passed by before I felt eyes on the side of my face. I turned on my side to face his turned head. “What?” I mumbled staring back at him. “Nothing…you’re just…this is unreal.” “Stop being so dramatic” I said jokingly as I smirked. He lifted an eyebrow at my ironic statement before he shook his head and looked back up at the setting sun. “…I love you, Drake.” I stated quietly into the air. “I love you too, Onika.” He replied quietly back before pulling me into his side, letting what was left of the sun dry us off in the damp grass.

            I couldn’t help the giddiness that came over me at this memory and my excitement to see Drake increased. I pulled into his drive way and parked the car. I replied my pink lipstick and ran my hands through the ends of my black wig again. I unbuckled and pulled the key out of the ignition and laced it on my finger as I strutted up his entry way.
         A brief movement of something by a window distracted me momentarily. I blocked it out for a few seconds before the movement caught my eye again. I nosily paused and headed closer to the rather large window.  I glanced in seeing Drake and smiled about to turn back to the door before the shadow of woman figure walking towards him entered the window perspective. My eyebrow lifted in surprise but I tried to not think to much of it and once again went to turn back to the door.
            The next action had me halted in place. She walked towards his body as he face the window and tippy-toed up to his level and rested a hand on the back of his neck bringing him down to her lips.
            My heart thudded in my chest as I stared unblinkingly at the scene before me. I felt my lungs close and my chest swell up and pound against my chest. My head started to throb and ache in confusion.
            I unfroze myself as they pulled apart and Drake opened his eyes looking directly into mine. His eyes showed shock as my eyes reflected back anger and despair, along with betrayal. I shook my head in disgust as I turned around not even having the strength to blow up at him properly.
            My mind buzzed as I heard the front door being thrown open. “NICKI! WAIT!” Drake screamed racing over to me. I mumbled to myself ignoring him as he continued to make his way closer to me as I speed walked back to my car. “Nicki! Just let me explain!” “Explain WHAT!” I snapped turning around shooting daggers into him. “How the fuck do you explain that shit, Aubrey! HUH!?!?!” “It’s not even like that, Nic! Just let me explain!” “How the fuck could you stand there and let her kiss you?”
          “Nic! It’s just an act!” “An act? OH? So was all that bullshit you told me about loving me and shit an act too?” “Nic, you know that’s not true!” He stated blocking me as I tried to get to my car once again.“Did you really ever even care about me, Aubrey?” I questioned turning back to his face, “Did you really ever even love me? Or where you just trying to amuse yourself by getting me to finally go out with you; making me cave and fall for you...”  
          “Nicki! It wasn't even like that we were just-” “I DON'T CARE! YOU WANT HER YOU CAN HAVE HER. I'M DONE! GO BACK TO MAKING OUT WITH YOUR WHORE” I felt the tears build up in my eyes as I shoved him out of my way and ran the rest of the way to my car.
         Through my blurry vision I could see him following after me.  I glanced at the doors of his house to see the confused girl standing there. I immediately pulled out and drove off....away from the heart-breaker...away from the betrayal.


AN: Aloha! Hey guys! NIC IS BACK! Isn't that fucking awesome! I wasn't able to have the right mind to type anything when she left I definitely wasn't in the mood. Now with her return I'm smiling moreeee -sings-. Anyways. I know this isn't much and I tried to extend it but there is only so much I could add without giving away next chapters so you will have to deal :)
I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE NEXT FLASHBACK (re-read that chapter if you need) HOW DO YOU THINK NICKI IS GOING TO SOLVE THE WHOLE PRESS ISSUE? HOW DO YOU THINK SHE IS GOING TO PROVE BOTH OF THEM INNOCENT? The more answers the sooner the next update! Post as many scenarios as you want! The more the BETTER!
I love you guys and continue reading! I appreciate all the comments, love and support from you guys! ^__^



Tuesday, April 10, 2012


Flashback: Slip-ups: Past Life

Nicki....” “Hmmm?” “What the hell happened?”

             “I....I don't know...” I responded biting my lip as I shifted again in my spot. “Really because that was quite an interesting interview you just had” Drake stated in a sarcastically dry manner. I paused for a moment holding back my tongue before responding, “I'm working on it Drake....just...don't worry about it I'll figure something out and call you back, okay?” “Alright....I just...I want to know....what happe-” “Drake” “Yea, I got it. Sorry. Call me back.” “I will, bye.” “Yea,” I heard him release a deep breath into the phone. “Yea, bye.”

          I sighed hanging up and pulling up twitter. I checked my mentions lurking through my barbz comments. I giggled at some and favorited them waiting for them to comment per usual

@BarbieNika: Lurknika alert!!! We see you queen! @NickiMinaj

         I chuckled before responding: “Ha! But I wasn't hiding Barbz :*"

       I watched my mentions go crazy as they overflowed with comments and freaking out. I continued faving and retweeting my barbz until I saw a tweet that really caught my attention.

@MayainMoscow: @NickiMinaj Soo what was up with that interview, Nicki? Was that a truth slip?

         I rolled my eyes but decided to use the opportunity to try to gain back the ground I had lost during that interview. was just a verbal mishap, barbz. BEWP!”

          I giggled as everyone freaked out not actually expecting me to respond to such a tweet.

         After a moment with the barbz and responding I decided to take the time rest before my photo shoot. I was already tired and the day had just begun.

         My dreamless sleep was soon interrupted when the SUV hit a small ditch jolting me at the same time as my phone decided to repeatedly buzz. I groaned sleepily as I shifted and grabbed my phone. 7 message appeared on my phone immediately which I took no particular surprise too. As I opened the texts and emails however, what I read made me sit up and readjust my position. “What the fuck...” I mumbled to myself as my face scrunched up in confusion at the texts from Lauren telling me something had leaked. I momentarily, thought it was the new music I had been recording lately but soon realized she wouldn't be freaking out as much as she was if it was just that. I decided to get on twitter and snoop around to see what my barbz knew considering they seemed to know more than I did at times with their nosy asses.

        As I entered the twitter world a link seemed to be passion through all of Team Minaj and repeatedly sent to my mentions. I clicked the link wearily and impatiently waited for it to load.

      What I saw shocked me so much I sat there dumbfounded for almost ten minutes before replaying the video.

Her arms wrapped around his waist as he pulled her into his chest. You could tell it was a deep intense moment as the shuffled a part slightly. His mouth moved and she smiled up at him. He smiled back before speaking again. To far from hearing you could still tell there was a spark between them. He brought her chin up with his finger tips and kissed her lips intently tilting her head to full view to the camera.

 that- “ME!” I screamed aloud in shocked. “What the fuck!” I exclaimed again waking up Safaree as he hurriedly turned around and looked back at me widely with a scarce far look on his face. “What the hell's going on?!” “They got the damn video!” “What video” “That got damn video of me and Aubrey from almost half a year ago!” “What? Are you sure?” “Hell yea, I'm sure, nigga! LOOK!” I exclaimed trying not to hyperventilating as I passed SB my phone. “Damn.” I heard him mumble. “I just recovered from that bullshit interview and now my fans are gonna think I'm lying to them....fucking perfect/” “We need a press conference.” “No Shit.” I said giving Safaree a look as I frustratedly took back my phone. “Hey! Ain't my fault you couldn't keep yourself from Drizzy” SB said smartly with a smirk. “Serious...don't fucking try me right now, Safaree. Don't play with me.” I said my eyes going to slits as I spoke to him. I turned to the window rubbing my temples slightly as I groaned again as my phone continued beeping. “This is bullshit.” I huffed.

I sighed one more time before going to twitter and tweeting briefly before cutting the volume off my phone: “Barbz, I'll explain later, it isn't what you think. Don't question. Just Trust.


           Hey guys! I'm back...sort of. I never really left but I've been everwhere and no where lately. I really just wanted to get this chapter over with. These next few chapters I swear are going to be the death of me. I just can't stand to write them! So I have no real excuse as to why I haven't posted except that I've been putting it off, which explains why this one is so short! (That and Nash Stone has my notes for this chapter and I'm too lazy to wait to get it back from her).

   Anyways, since I've last seen you Nicki has tweeted me and faved me :) (Yes, I'm smiling mad hard right now). You don't know how BLESSED I feel! I really don't know what to do with myself. I swear I've never liked being the random person I am until the day Nic decided to only bless me with her beautifulness in my mentions twice, lol! Oh, Jabari tweeted me as well! Aha! That was quite amusing :) Other than that nadda mucho has been going on. I'm in my busiest month of the year. Prom is coming up! That's exciting! All nighter 7-5!!! WOOT!
     That's about it. So I hope you enjoyed. I'm going to try to  update more often but don't expect these next chapters to be great or long because I really just want to get these next few chapters out the way so I can get to the REALLY good stuff ;)



Monday, March 12, 2012

Chapter Previews

Next TWO Chapter Previews ;]

Ch.10- Her arms wrapped around his waist as he pulled her into his chest. You could tell it was a deep intense moment as the shuffled a part slightly. His mouth moved and she smiled up at him. He smiled back before speaking again. To far from hearing you could still tell there was a spark between them. He brought her chin up with his finger tips and kissed her lips intently tilting her head to full view to the camera. “ that-

Ch.11- “Did you really ever even care about me, Aubrey? Did you really ever even love me? Or where you just trying to amuse yourself by getting me to finally go out with you; making me cave and fall for you...” “Nicki! It wasn't even like that we were just-” “I DON'T CARE! YOU WANT HER YOU CAN HAVE HER. I'M DONE! GO BACK TO MAKING OUT WITH YOUR WHORE” I felt the tears build up in my eyes as I shoved him out of my way and ran to my car. Through my blurry vision I could see him following after me and immediately pulled out and drove off....away from the heart-breaker...away from the bretrayal.

                AN: I was being bugged to death to update via twitter, lol. I love you guys for that! I really do! I'm not going to post the whole chapter today but the next update will be a double update. I've decided I'm just going to keep doing that. Long term waits but double updates. Is that alright? Can you guys live with that? 
            LIFE UPDATE: Nicki read my comment to her during her Ustream and responded mod cocky, lmaooo :D I am FREAKING HYPE about that STILL. Annnnd Martin followed me yesterday!!! I am so freaking blessed guys. TM is so amazing....NICKI MINAJ IS SO FUCKING AMAZING. Anyways, yea :]


Monday, February 20, 2012


#9: You Da One: Proving a Point

            It's been a week or so since Drake left to go back on tour after his....visit. I still haven't figured out a way to show him that I really did love him. I honestly didn't know how he wanted me to do that. You would think out of all the times we have talked I'd be able to pull something out my ass,  with all the tricks for this, but my mind had completely drawn a blank. Luckily, I had asked Lauren and Candi to come over to help me with this issue. We had decided that this event required a girls night.
           I had finished setting out the snacks and setting up the movies for us. I was now gathering blankets and pillows from around the house to place in the living room that was already cleaned because of previous events that had occurred. I blushed at the thought as buzz/ring echoed around the house. I walked to my monitor and smiled down at my friends who stood impatiently waiting for me to buzz them in. I clicked the button calling into the mic for them to come in.
           “About time you let us in. Were you TRYING to get us jumped by paparazzi out there?! You know they crazy, Nicki!” Candi scolded at me following Lauren as they made their way into the living room. I chuckled rolling my eyes as I said “Well, hello to you too, love” Candi smiled at me cheesily as she set down her things and opened her arms to hug me. “Hi, boo!” She cooed at me as I hugged her back letting a smile grace my face. I gave Lauren a hug as well as she cheesed quietly taking a seat. “What's up with you, Lauren” I said looking at her curiously. “Oh nothing, I'm just waiting for Candi to jump down your throat with questions since I already know” she stated smirking. “Whoa, pauz that jump, boo” I said taking a seat on the floor; grabbing blanket as I sat” “YES! Tell me what the hell happened! How the hell did Drake end up going down on you!!??!?!                 
         I thought that nigga was still mad!” Candi started as she grabbed some snacks and looked at me as she got comfortable on the couch. I chuckled as I started explaining in very vivid details that even has Lauren listening intently. I blushed continuing replaying the events that had happened not to long ago.

         “Are you serious, Nicki?!” Candi asked eyes wide as I wrapped up the ending of my story. I chuckled, nodding as I grabbed at some of the snacks on the table. “Dead ass” I said. “Drake though?” I nodded again tossing some of the snack I had grabbed into my mouth. “Baby boy?” I looked at her dazed expression. “Canada ball!” I shrugged letting my dimples show momentarily. “The lone moose?!” Lauren and I gave each other weird looks before busting into laughter. “Really Candi? You are doing THE MOST.” I stated shaking my head with a grin. “But Maple hood?!” “Okay, now you're just being mad dumb” I said rolling my eyes. She turned giving me a look. “Does Drake have a brother?” I rolled my eyes chucking some of the popcorn I had selected from the snacks at her head. “Shut up.” I stated amusedly. Candi knew the answer to that and now she was just being extra. Lauren tried terribly to hold back a laugh at Candi's expression. “ did not just-” I chucked a few more pieces of popcorn at her interrupting her sentence as I smirked. A few second past before a loud screech left my throat as Candi tackled me, jumping from the couch. “Oh my goshhh!” I laughed trying to fight her off of me. Candi fake punched me and started tickling me. “GET OFF ME YOU RAPIST!” I called out laughing hysterically. “It ain't rape if you like itttt!” She yelled into the air as she started moving her hips. “AHH! GET OFF ME! LAUREN, HELP!” I called out. “Sorry, babe, you're on your own” Lauren said smirking as she tossed a Cheetos at my face. “Alright! I gotchu, Lauren! I see you!” I said flinching momentarily before trying to shove Candi off me again.
          When I finally got her off we all laughed smiling as Candi sat next beside me on the floor. “SO!” Candi started not missing a beat of silence, “Who has a plan?” She looked around at us as me and Lauren looked at each other with a shrug. Candi's face fell unamused. “Are you serious, guys? Nothing?!” She shook her head as she pulled out her iphone and went to her notepad. “Alright...let's start with naming this plan....hmmmm” She began to silently type and smiled. “Perfect.” I gave her a questioning look as she motioned me to look at her phone. “Plan: Get the Zick? Really, Candi?” I said giving her a look. “You're so extra....”     
        “You won't be saying dat when you gets zi zickkkk” she said in a sing-songy voice.  I chuckled as Lauren shook her head amusedly. “AND! I have the perfect thing for you to do!” Candi continued smirking at me. I gave her a slight weary look as something sparked in her eyes. “Candi....” “It's nothing crazy! Promise!” She cheesed at me and I looked at Lauren. She shrugged at me stating, “She's the only one with an idea”. Getting her point I looked back at Candi, “Whatcha got?”.


         Since we had finalized the plan, I was invited to participate in the YM appearance at Drake's last show of his tour here in LA. It went really well but his presence had me girlish and shy the entire night on a noticeable level that had raised many eyebrows in YM fam. Luckily, I had made it through the concert and even back to my hotel without someone verbally questioning the sexual tension that lingered between Drake and I, considering our playfulness was usually viewed that way anyway.
         I was now getting ready for a party for Drake featuring Young Money to celebrate the ending to another successful tour (even though it was mini). I reapplied my lipstick one more time before heading the the living room of the hotel where SB was waiting. “Damn, Nic, dressed to kill, huh?” He asked with a knowing smirk. I hid my blush as I scowled at him and his smirking figure. “Shut up, Safaree.” I stated grabbed my jacket from the closet near the door. Safaree chuckled following behind me but headed towards the front door. He opened it motioning me out first as I placed my jacket on my figure and grabbed my purse waiting for me on the side table. “Thank you” I stated walking out first to meet my bodyguard guarding outside the door. “You ready?” He asked his voice baritone. “I'm out here ain't I?” He nodded not saying anything. “Step your dick up, nigga” I said jokingly as he began to lead the way to the car garage, where are ride was waiting to take us to the mansion Drake had rented out.

        As we walked in we were met by loud music and the screams/chatters of the crowd on the ground floor. I took the backdoor to the stairs and went up to the second level where the rest of Young Money was hanging out at. I smiled as Safaree opened the door and I was met with familiar faces.
        “Hey guys!” I said excitedly as I went around hugging everyone. “Damn Nicki, you looking good, girl! You trynna get you some tonight, huh?” T-Streetz asked as I hugged him. “Shut up, T. Boy I always look good” I said laughing with a smirk. As I got closer to the end of my hug line, I saw quite a charming young man sipping White wine spritzer, leaning on the side banister.   
        “Hey Nic” He said smirking, letting his eyes trail me slowly. I bit my lip as a set of chills ran down my body, making my eyes flutter and darken, even behind my colored contacts. His smirk widened as he noticed my involuntary reaction. “Hey Drizzy...” I said in a small voice holding back a blush as I watched him lick his lips. “What no hug for me?” he questioned opening his arms, after setting his drink down at a table near the corner of the banister. I scrunched my face "Naw, you good." I stated joking with a smile before stepping into his arms and letting myself be engulfed in his scent and presence. His body heat meshed with mine as I let my head rest on his chest. He brought his lips against my hair lightly. He leaned down to my ear letting his fingers grip my sides as I tried to pull away.   
        “You look good enough to eat” He stated lowly before pulling away from me. My voice had hitched in my throat and I gulped as I shifted myself leaving his embrace. “You don't look to bad either, Drizzy Drake” I said letting his name roll off my tongue with a seductive edge that I had been forgetting I had lately.
          I needed to step my my cookies up, evidently, because I had been letting him get away with a lot and everyone knows that Nicki is the boss and I was definitely going to remind him that all in due time.


         I happily fell onto my bed at 4 am, fresh from the party. The night had ended well and had even given me the chance to ask Drake to dinner tonight which he had cheekily said yes to. After he accepted my invitation, we, as usual, were inseparable but even more so if that was even possible. We spent the whole night talking and whispering towards each other until I had decided that it was time to turn it. He, of course, protested to the idea but after I reminded him of our date tonight and he decided that it would okay if I was gone from him for a few hours. I, intern, gave him a smart-alec comment before kissing his cheek and saying goodbye to my Young Money family.
          Now that I was home I was determined to get some sleep before having to call the girls to get the plan going for tonight. We had a few errands to run for set up which would be at my house.


15 hrs.
7 hrs of sleep
3 hrs of shopping
2hrs of setting up

         That left me three hours to get ready. To say I was nervous...would be an understatement. I made Candi and Lauren stay in the living room while I was showering. I was now standing in my fogged mirror with a towel wrapped around my body. I tilted my head at my reflection before heading back into my bedroom where the outfit I had bought specifically for tonight laid out. I stared at the dress and the matching Giuseppe Zanotti shoes. Glancing to my left at the time I decided to start to lotion up and get ready.
        As I sat down to put on my shoes my doorbell rang and I heard the echo of foot steps and greetings as I finished. I got up and straightened/dusted off my dress and headed to living room. “Alright, I'm ready for you guys to fix me.” I stated entering the living room. “You look hot!” I heard a familiar voice say. I chuckled looking up to see Terrence sitting down with his case and bags ready to do my hair. “Hey Terrence” I said smiling as I walked over to hug him.
        “Damn, Nicki!” Candi and Lauren exclaimed at me. “You trying to kill him?” Lauren said with a smirk. “ know” I said, before laughing. “So!" Terrence started up interrupting, "You told me to bring the black wig and I brought it. Take a seat so I can get this thing on you” we were officially getting down to business.
        After Terrence had finished my hair, Lauren gave me a light layer of make-up before everyone left leaving me to wait, quite impatiently I might add, for Drake to arrive.

        I fidgeted around with somethings to pass the time and continued to check myself and the clock to make sure everything was good. 2 minutes before our set time a knock was sounded on the door. I nervously stood and straightened myself double checking around me to make sure everything was perfectly in place.
I took a deep breath as I arrived at the door myself for once and opened the door. “Hey” I said shyly as I looked up at a well dressed Drake leaning on the doorway before me. “Hey beautiful” He said letting his eyes scan me per usual. I bit my lip turning my head to glance back before moving and letting him in. “Follow me.”  
        I stated as he shut the door and locked it. We headed to my dining room where multiple candles were lit and the lights were dimmed leaving the room in a glow. I could feel his eyes on me and I turned slightly to see him smirk as he met my eyes. I let a small smile slip onto my lips before telling him to take a seat and making my way into the living room.
        I brought out two covered trays and slowly placed one in front of him, giving him the opportunity to trail his eyes over me before I sashayed my way back to the kitchen placing my food down in its place on the way there. I brought out Drake's favorite whine and something special for myself to calm my nerves.
         After setting down our drinks we unveiled the food which to his delight was the promised meal I told him I'd make a while back. As soon as I saw the smile that eased on his face when he saw what I'd made I knew this night would be perfectly fine.

         “He did not seriously do that!” I exclaimed with a laugh dabbing at the corners of my mouth with a napkin. “Yes! Luckily the crowd was enough to hold him and let him surf through uninjured. But I swear he never smoked that much again!” Drake said laughing along with me as he ended another tour story.  
       “Wow, so much happened on such a 'mini' tour!” I said half surprised. “Yea, Ovo team is pretty crazy” He stated as he sat back with his plate empty. “Another thing that's completely crazy is your cooking!” He said smiling at me. I smacked my lips together before saying, “I told you I could throw down, boo, don't act so surprised!” I said smartly. He laughed at me as we both eased into a comfortable silence. “So...” I began leaning towards the table. “You wanna go out back?” I tilted my head to the direction of the patio letting him glance at the view before turning back to me. “Absolutely.” He got up and offered his hand to me. I accepted it grabbing my drink as he grabbed his and lead him to my patio doors.

         The sound of music filled our ears as we made our way outside. I curiously looked around before noticing the neighbors a long way down having a mini dance. I shrugged and turned around to meet Drake's eyes. “Dance with me?” he asked taking the last sip of his drink and placing the empty glass down. “Absolutely” I stated setting down my drink without a second thought.
         He laced our fingers bringing me into him letting his statures figure tower over mine as I buried my head in his chest comfortably, letting his other hand rest on my him. “You're so beautiful” He mumbled in my ear, leaning down. “Oh?” I said in a lazily, comfortable manner. I felt him nod. “You're okay, I guess.” I said smirking a little. I felt him chuckle. “Just okay? Really? Because last time you said-” “Drake” I said with a warning tone in my voice as I glanced up at him. A shit eating grin covered his face as he wiggled his eyebrows. “Yes, ma'am” He said cutely. I rolled my eyes pressing my lips together as I leaned on him again letting him lead us round as I  enjoyed the moment with him. 
       A brief moment passed between us before my favorite song began playing from the neighbor's house. I smiled into Drake's chest as I sang/mumbled a long to Whitney's voice. Hold me in your arms tonight; Fill my life with pleasure; Let's not waste this precious time;This moment's ours to treasure” I felt the rumble of his chest as he finished the chorus off for me making me smile and look up at him. “You know that song?” “A song with Whitney in it? Of course, who doesn't know every Whitney song?” He asked smirking down at me. I smiled widely as we swayed back and forth.

I believe you when you say that you love me
Know that I won't take you for granted
Tonight the magic has begun
So won't you hold me, touch me
Make me your woman tonight

There's something in your eyes I see
I won't betray your trust in me 

        I locked eyes with Drake as the words dwelled around us and we each soaked them in. He slowly stopped moving us lifting my chin a little higher with the nudge of his finger tips. My lips parted slightly in awe of him as he leaned down to me. After what seemed like an eternity I felt his breath on my lips causing a course of goose bumps to spread on my arms. Impatiently, I pressed up on my tippy toes letting our lips slowly clash together.         
      A strong force of air left my nose as I satisfyingly eased myself into the kiss. His arms incased my small frame as I wrapped both my arms around his shoulders pulling him into me. Our bodies mushed together chest to chest as the kiss was intensified. His grip tightened on my hips before I pulled away smiling up at him watching the small spark in his eyes show as we both blinked at each other. “Let's go inside.” I stated quietly grabbing his hand and pulling him into the house leaving our glasses behind.

        We made our way to the living room and in front of the couches where so many things seem to always happen. I pushed him down gently to his surprise and watched his face as I smirked hovering above him as I made my way onto his lap. I trailed my hands down his body biting my lip as I gripped his shirt in my hands tugging him towards me a little before locking my eyes with his, letting a seductive smile fall on my lips before I pressed our lips together. I sucked his bottom lip pulling it and letting it go watching his face scrunch in a pleasured look from the small action. I chuckled lightly before kissing him again. Trailing my hands to his shoulders and then back down his chest.
         I straddled him letting my dress shift and rise to my hips. He moved his hands to the now bare spots of my upper thighs and gripped them tightly pulling me into him letting our hips grind together. I moaned into his mouth letting my lips fall open just enough for him to sneak his tongue in between my lips. “Hmm..” I hummed into the kiss as he pulled me into him harder. I rested my hands on the back of the couch raising myself up to grind into him slowly and harshly, making a moan escape his soft lips as he pulled his mouth away from me. I continued to grind into him slowly and then increased my speed a little as he moved his hands to my hips and gripped them tightly. 
        I leaned down to his ear and nipped at it before kissing down his neck. I let a light moan surpass my lips and travel into his ear. “Fuck!” he mumbled tightening his grip on my hips. I let a low/small giggle leave my lips as I said to him quietly, “Mmm...maybe later.” I pecked his lips once before getting up leaving him in his distraught state. “Wha?” He said confusedly as his eyes snapped open. I laughed before trying to escape. He quickly jumped up to come after. I screeched in surprise and as quickly as I could walk in my heels, made my way to the patio doors.
        As I went to grab at the doors I felt two strong arms wrap around me from behind causing a scream/laugh to escape from my throat. “Drake! Put me down! I have to go get the glasses.” “Mhmm, I'm sure!” “I do!” I said laughing as he lifted me from the ground and spun me. I tried to point to the patio doors as he finally stopped spinning. “Look!” He turned looking through the glass doors at the outline of our glasses outside on the table. “See!” I said as he set me down. I stuck my tongue out at him before slipping through the doors to collect our glasses. “My bad, Nicki.” He stated meaninglessly as a smirk set on his face watching  me. I strutted past him and headed to the kitchen with the glasses. Drake soon entered behind me with our dishes from dinner and set everything in the sink blocking me in momentarily. I turned around and watched him as he brought his hand back and wrapped them around me as I leaned on the sink counter. “You're something know that?” He said after a while of us staring each other in the eyes. 
       I tilted my head. “Are you trying to insult me....or what are you saying?!” I said playfully looking up at him. “Naw, never that.” He said pulling me into him and rocking us from side to side. 'You sure, Drizzy, cause I'm feeling like you need to get popped for that...” I mumbled into his chest. He stopped moving to pout at me causing a laugh to erupt from my petite figure. “Nigga please.” I stated patting his chest as I moved from his arms and walked back to the living room. I glanced back at him as I exited the kitchen entry way. “You coming, Drake?” I asked. He took a moment staring at me with wild emotions passing his eyes. “Yea...”
       He followed behind me into the living room and sat down as I took off my shoes. “I have no idea why I wore shoes in my own house” I complained as I ventured down 5 inches from where I had been. “Stepping shit up for Drake, huh?” He said in third person. I rolled my eyes at him before crawling next to him on the couch. “Whatever you think, baby” I answered. I curled myself into his side as he wrapped his arms around me and we began to engage in small talk

          3 hours had passed and we were still on the couch. I was now laying on top of Drake's chest running my hand through his hair as we spoke quietly to each other about everything and nothing. “You're such an incredible, woman” Drake stated as his hands rubbed up my sides and finally rested my hips. “Compliments won't you get you the mango, Drake” I said giving him a side eye. He chuckled shaking me slightly. “I already go it I'm good” He stated with a shit eating grin. “You know what....” I said pretending to get up. “I'm just playing!” Drake said automatically gripping my hips to keep me still. “Mhmm....”
          A comfortable silence came over them as I traced shapes on his chest in thought. “Drake...” “Nicki.” he mimicked. I ignored his playful mockery as I tilted my head. “Hey...what's up” Drake asked a concern coming over him. “Nothing....we just...we have a strange relationship...” I stated locking eyes with him. “That we do. I enjoy it....most of the time” ''Don't you think at some's going to ya know, get old?” “Who be honest, it might. But I hope not. I wouldn't mind spending every moment of every day just like this” he stated using one hand to motion to our current state “With you” A small smile graced my features as I locked eyes with him again. “You're corny” I stated letting a fully dimpled smile cover my face. “You like it.” “Love it.” Another brief silence came over them as I took a deep reassured breath.  
       “Onika.” Drake said his voice low making me immediately look up at his usage of my real name. “Thank you.” He stated looking deeply into my eyes. I blinked for a moment, confused as to why he was thanking me. “For...” I said slowly. “Proving it to me.” He said in a serious manner. He let his hand trace my face as I started playing with my own fingers. Drake brought his hand from my face and covered up both of mine to make me stop fidgeting, before lacing our fingers together. 
       “Aubrey....” I stated trying not to sound as choked as I felt. “I really DO love you.” I said quietly as I brought my teary eyes to his. He took a deep breath unlacing one of our hands to wipe at the corners of my eyes with his thumb. “Yea,” he said after letting a breath out, “I know.” He wrapped his arms around me in a hug as we embraced quietly.


       “I had a great time tonight, Nic” Drake said standing in the doorway with his back to the outside. “Me too, Drake.” I stated in honesty. He leaned and pecked my lips softly and then my forehead and lastly my cheek, whispering sweetly, “Take care” before he stepped back from me leaving me with closed eyes momentarily as I leaned on the doorway. “Goodnight Drake.” I stated as he backed up from my doorway with a wave.
       I smiled watching him walk to his car. As he got in and started it I saw a small swipe of a wave that I returned as he sped off. Take care.


FINALLY. You don't know how long this took me to finish today. Let's just say WAY longer than I expected. I think it turned out pretty okay. Or in other words I don't hate it! So you guys can stop coming at me now for that other chapter that I hated (still hate). Anyways! Let's get down to business!

First, I'm no longer counting outside comments as part of the 5, unless I say personally, that I”m counting it. The reason for this to be honest is because I forget when people comment outside of this website sometimes.

Secondly, (This shouldn't really be a big deal; hopefully) I'm raising the comment minimum barrier because you guys are beating it like it's nothing and that tells me that there are more of you with great opinions that I would love to hear! So the official comment minimum is.......SIX. Yup. That's right...I added one more comment :P Exciting I know.

The main reason why I even have a comment barrier is because not only do I want to see your opinions but to be completely honest to by myself some time! I've become even more busy which means when I finish what I NEED to do I'm usually feeling majorly lazy and comments help to up the want to write. Though regardless I still have those moments when I'm just like... UGH.

NOW! I do have 8 more chapters pre-written and officialized by my “ghost” writer Nash Stone. I just actually need time to write them full detailed chapters out! I know it seems like to those who really know me that I'm online a lot but I usually am working! I AM WORKING MORE THAN YOU THINK! I'm just good at multitasking...on twitter. I started up another extra curriculum as well as outside of school things to do and accomplish.

Lastly, I love you guys and I hope you truly are enjoying this story and not feeding me bull. I hope as we continue through this interesting journey of the reading/writing world that there are more of you. I'm definitely not saying I don't appreciate those that I have because I really do. I'm just greedy -shrugs- I'm not gonna lie. I hope that we get to the point where I have 10+ comments from you guys as my minimum, muwahaha! That's my secret plan in the end...but you didn't read that.

For those who want to contact me outside of this site:
Twitter: @MarilynMonroman




#8: Flashback: Behind the Scenes

~“NICKI! OVER HERE!” “MS.MINAJ!” “NICKI!” “NICKI MINAJ!” “OVER HERE, NICKI!” “NICKI! What was with the comment about Drake?!” “How long have you two been dating” “Are you getting engaged?!” “How does it feel to no longer be celibate?” “Do you plan on marrying anytime soon!?” “Are you pregnant?”~

           I gave the paparazzi a cold/weird look as they continued throwing questions my way. My bodyguards pressed them back as they tried to surround me, thrusting their cameras at me to get any shot they could. My sunglasses weren't doing much for once.


I heard the calls of my Barbs and Kens in the mitts of the chaos. I waved to them slightly with a small smile that lasted half a second before I finally made it into the car.

As the car door shut I sighed, taking off my sunglasses and closing my eyes. I leaned back with a distraught look. 

No one said a word. No one could. No one understood what happened....I didn't even understand what had happened. I already knew that this would blow up, especially considering last time with our marriage joke.

              Half an hour later, still in the car, my phone started buzzing, interrupting the silence. I glanced down at it and a look of dismay crossed my face at the name "Weezy" flashing across my screen. I sighed knowing he was one person I wouldn't be able to avoid. I slowly reached for my phone and answered it after a few deep breaths.
            “What up, Nic.” a chill and calm voice cooed at me through the phone. “Hey Wayne...” I said already preparing myself for what he might have to say. “Ya know....if you and Drake keep getting married you can at least invite a nigga” He said with a small amusement in his voice that made me smile a little. I let a small chuckle surpass my lips. “I wasn't invited either and it's supposedly my wedding” I shrugged my shoulders as a comfortable grin lingered on my face. “On a real note though, Nic, you need to fix this. These slip ups and mishaps can't keep happening. It IS good publicity but it's bad on YM on a personal note. The last thing we need is more drama in YM, you know that.” “Yea...I'm sorry about this...I'll fix it asap.” “Make a plan today.               
            I want it fixed by the end of the week.” “Done.” I said trying to hide my apprehension as he told me bye with a call of good luck.
            As I ended the phone call SB looked at me knowingly. We communicated through eyes momentarily before I turned back to the window and he turned back to his cell phone, which is he seemed to be more and more occupied with lately. I watched the scenery pass by as I tried to mentally figure out a way to get Drake and I out of the mess I, for once, had created.


           We pulled up at the hotel after a long day of interviews and photo shoots. I was completely exhausted and had no energy left in me. I couldn't even think of any ways to fix the problem I had made to day and decided to hold off on it for a little while before having what was going to be a very, VERY interesting conversation with Drake.
            I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes before a knock was heard and SB stood at my door entry with my cellphone. I looked up at him tiredly as he said, “Drake's on the phone”. My body froze as those words left his mouth and my eyes widened as SB continued to hold my cellphone in his hand. I motioned for him to bring it to me trying to hold back the pout that was making its way on my face.
            I took the phone slow and cautiously from his hands and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I said in a small voice. “Hey....” Drake said in a seemingly calm matter. “Hi” I said shyly letting my eyes shift lazily as I curled myself into a ball sitting up. “How was your day?” “Um....fine” I said curiously. “Yours?” “Great! Just like the usual, ya know business.” “Yea...” said letting my words trail off as I shifted the phone to my other ear. “Well! It was going normal...until I got an interesting phone call from management that is.” “Oh.” I said lowly biting my lip. “Nicki....” “Hmmm?” “What the hell happened?”


Posting again later today! Comment=5 still goes! READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE ON THE NEXT CHAPTER! MAJORLY IMPORTANT.



Monday, January 30, 2012


#7: Questionnaire: Up To You

I've been trying not to look at him but his eyes keep trailing to me.
He knows I'm aware of it because he chuckles every time I shiver.
Keep smiling. Keep smiling. Keep smiling.
Don't you dare let your eyes trail over to him....
Focus. Focus. Focus.
That damn lip....

           “Hi, honey” I said to one of the Barbz in front of me. Her eyes widened and I could see her body freeze up in shock. I gently took the poster from her hands and signed it as she continued to stare at me in a frozen state. I gave her a small smile as one of the body-guards ushered her down the line after I handed her back her poster. I could see her tears build up as she finally let out a gasp. I averted my eyes from her presence trying not to let my Barbz emotions get to me as the next girl walked. I signed more things only having a brief moment to look up at the person in front of me. “Will you marry me?” I heard a deep voice say as I looked up to hand a young guy his signed poster. I chuckled as I watched him get on his knee, “You're so young, babe!.” I said giving him a little smile as the young 17 year old got up with a hopeful smile still on his face. I could feel Drake's eyes on the us as he took his signed poster from my hands.

I wish Drake would focus on his own stuff.

                I casually glanced down the line at my label mates and let my eyes linger on Drake for a second. Replays of his lips on mine popped into my head. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before bringing my attention back to my work at hand.
We had been signing for a good two hours and we still had awhile to go. We decided to get a mini break for about five to ten minutes. I could here the crowd grumble a little as a few of us stood. I turned towards SB asking for my water as I flexed my hand. I slowly trailed my gaze over all the figures talking as I silently sat in my chair. My eyes ended up landing on a curly head and trailing down the maturely defined features of his face. I continued to trail my eyes down his masculine features towards his lips as he smiled his contagious grin. I felt my self half smile.
                 His tongue sneaked out to swipe at his lips, I bite my bottom lip in reaction, my eyes turning to lazy slits as I watched his mouth move in continuous conversation. My head tilted slightly as he laughed and his eyes closed momentarily.

               “Nicki!” I heard yelled from next to me. I jumped in my chair causing the others to look at me as I turned my head towards SB, embarrassed and irritated. “WHAT!” I exclaimed giving him a look. He gave me a look back as he handed me my water. I tried to calm my blushing face as I accepted the water with a quiet grumbling of thank you. Sb gave a confused and odd look and I rolled my eyes turning from him, still recovering from embarrassment. My pocket buzzed as my phone vibrated. I pulled it out glad to have a distraction. I stiffened staring at the text. I glanced up, the sender was now sitting, having ended his previous conversation. “Don't stare so hard, babe.” I rolled my eyes as he caught my gaze. He smirked in return and I looked away closing the message and setting my phone back into my pocket. I grabbed a permanent marker as the guards announced to the crowd we were starting up again.


                  4 more hours of signing later, we had finally finished. Everyone cheered as the last person left and we all applauded for each other. The guys talked about heading to the club in celebration of a successful day/night. I shook my head in amusement as I gathered my things. “You coming with us, Nic?” Mack Maine asked me glancing as we all walked. “No, I'm going to pass on this one.” “Boo!” some of them chorused. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, “Nigga, please, like you care as soon as you get your drink and chick you're not gonna give a damn!” “Well!” T-Streetz said shrugging in response. I laughed scanning the group as I lingered back some. “We know Drake ain't going since he gotta leave for a show” Wayne stated as he lead the group. I looked around a little for Drake to see his reaction. He casually leaned on the side of the wall as they passed him, “Well you know, man, business first.” He stated, his gaze locked on me as he spoke. I moved my eyes from him and looked at Safaree as he talked to one of the bodyguards walking near my right side a little ahead of me.
            A few bodyguards lingered behind me as I tried to ignore Drake's figure. I messed with the ends of my hair fixing them repeatedly, as we neared him. I tried continuously to get Safaree's attention for help but to no avail.
            I silently neared Drake, watching in my peripheral vision as he pulled off the wall just like I knew he would. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked lowly. “Um...” I said searching again for an excuse. I caught SB's eyes this time and motioned him over with a quick widening of my eyes before looking back at Drake. “Uh, later...I'm going to be late for something....” I started letting my words trail as Sb came closer, “You ready?” I asked Safaree turning from Drake trying avoid finishing my statement. “I guess-” “Let's go.” I made my way from Drake, hitching my purse on my shoulder as I headed near a different exit leaving him behind. A confused Safaree followed behind me. “We had time.” SB stated as we walked up to my car and we both got in. I buckled and started the car as I stated, “I know just....don't worry about it.” I held back my sigh as he continued to look at me before shaking his head knowing I wasn't going to say anything more. He buckled up as I pulled out of the parking lot and made my way back to the hotel.


~A week and a half later~

Studio time, interviews, ustreams, club appearances, performances and photo shoots, that is what my life has been about without rest. To say I'm am relieved to have this break is an understatement. This bed is so glorious to me, the warmth. I've gotten rid of Safaree for the day, which wasn't hard. The house is to myself and I don't plan on leaving it. I haven't even been able to think about having a personal life with all the things I have been doing. I, especially, haven't had time to think about Drake...well, at least I tried not to, he is my best friend after all. He's on his mini tour, luckily, so he didn't have time to pester me about the conversation he was trying to have with me a week or so ago. That wasn't even suppose to happen again. The first time that kissed happened it had turned into a complete disaster when the media found out. A slip up that will never happen again; which was what I told him the first time it was settled...that was of course before the whole Trey incident.... then that second kiss.
I can't handle this I need to stop thinking and just watch this series of Judge Judy I haven't been able to get through, nigga over here in my thoughts wasting my rest time.
This is my day.

               I was drawn from my thoughts by a knock on the door. I sighed getting up grumpily as I made my way downstairs unamused. I looked at the security camera by the front door and my eyes widened at the sight of Drizzy standing there looking right back at me through the camera. “What. The. Fuck.” I stated. I pressed the speaker button, leaning into the mic“What are you doing here?” I questioned confused. “I'd let you know if you'd let me in before the paparazzi figure out I'm here.” He stated still looking directly at the camera as if he could see me. I bit my lip glancing down at my big t-shirt that covered my black thong and bra. “Great.” I stated releasing the speaker button and pressing the button next to it to unlock the front door. I walked into the living room and sat down as I heard the loud buzz echo my house and my front door open and close with a lock. I stared at the blank TV as I listened for his footsteps heading to my living room.
               I could feel his presence as he entered. His scent spread through out the room as I took a breath holding back a shiver. “Hey.” He stated from behind me. “Hi.” I said in a small voice. I could here him take a deep breath as he moved from behind me and sat on the love seat facing next to the couch I had placed myself. We sat in my 'L' shaped living room silent for a few beats before he broke the tense air. “Are we going to talk?” “You came here...” I said trailing off glancing at him and then at the wall behind him. He sighed again and moved to the couch I sat on. He sat on the far corner. “Can you at least look at me, Nicki” he said trying to catch my eyes. My eyes went to his as if on command. I stared up at him through my lashes. I could sense him fighting the temptation of trailing his eyes down my body and focus on my eyes.
                “What are you doing here, Drake?” I asked. I leaned back on the arm of the couch, ankles crossed, and legs occupying some of the length of the couch as he sat at the end of my feet. “I told you we needed to talk.” “Aren't you suppose to be on tour?” “Aren't you suppose to be at the recording studio?” He questioned back. “I'm on break.” I stated with slight attitude. “So am I.” he said eyes locked on mine.
                 We were both silent for a beat staring at each other. I let my eyes travel over before looking back at him. His eyes were lingering on my form trailing the same way mine had before; he met my eyes with a small smirk. I rolled me eyes holding back a un-needed laugh. He was so contagious.
               “So....are we going to talk about it?” “I guess since you're here...” I responded. “Are you going to admit you're in love with me?' he asked his smirk growing. I rolled my eyes. “Drake, don't start with me on that, we've been over this” I shifted in my seat crossing my arms over my chest and turning my head to look at the blank screen of the TV. “I know we have that's why I don't understand how you could just go with Trey and -” “Drake, can we not talk about that...” I asked cutting him off before he could finish. “Why not?” His sudden frustration was noticeable through his posture. “Can we just not...” “I don't understand how you can just fuck him, Nic” His face scrunched up in confusion letting a look of hurt pass over his eyes. “The same way you could hurt me on stage.” I stated back at him blocking my emotions for a moment. “The same way you could let me kiss you again?” he retorted his facial expression changing as he met my eyes with a questioning stare. “I-I...” My mind drew a blank momentarily at his comment before I retorted, “You kissed ME, both times” “You sure as hell didn't stop me” “I was trying to be nice!” I said rolling my eyes with a pout at my lame retort “I'm sure you were, Nicki” he said sarcastically. “Whatever...” I mumbled. “You can't help yourself, huh?” I glanced up at him surprised at what he was saying. My eyes turn to slit as I eyed him. “Are you getting cocky, Aubrey?” I asked with attitude evident in my tone. “In more ways then you can imagine...” he stated letting his eyes purposely travel from my eyes down to my shirt which was riding up from my continuous unconscious fidgeting and arm crossing.
               I yanked at my shirt bringing it down before feeling his hand grab my wrist, seizing my motions. I locked eyes with him ready to snatch my arm back. The longing in his eyes sent shivers down my body and my eyes fluttered involuntarily and he trailed his eyes to my arm where my goose bumps were evident and down to my thigh which held goose bumps as well. He smirked knowingly at me. I finally broke away from the trance I was in and yanked my arm back.
              “You can't help it.” He stated this time, looking directly at me. I stayed silent and looked down at my lap mentally frustrated at myself for reacting to him. “Hey...” he said using one hand to lift my head so our eyes would meet, “neither can I” he stated his voice hitting a baritone as he let the lust drip from his words. I bit my lip unconsciously and felt him tug my lip from between my teeth with the hand that was placed on my chin.
              He trailed his hands down from my chin, down my hair, across my left thigh, down to my calf and gently grasped my ankle. He turned his self to face me fully and uncrossed my ankles. I watched him hazed as he tugged me a little bringing me closer as I slid on my back suppressing my breath momentarily. I breathed out the air as he brought his lips to my ankle and slowly pressed them against my skin. He watched me, his eyes never leaving me as he moved up my body slowly kissing the skin of my leg up to my thigh. He moved his kisses inward as he came closer to my core. I felt him take a deep breath before he moved to my other thigh and kissed slowly and surpassed my core lifting my shirt to kiss my hip bone.
                My mind was in a buzz, a high of some other spectrum. I wasn't even aware you could feel this good with such simple actions.
               He kissed my other hip bone letting his tongue peak from his lips to lick at my salty skin. My eyes fluttered at his action and he finally moved his gaze from me to the tie of my thong around my hips. He nipped at the string snapping it lightly against my skin before using his teeth to slowly untie the left black bow. As the strings fell from his mouth he kissed the spot it had previously sat at and moved to the other hip and untied that one the same way. He locked eyes with me as my breath steadily became heavy and my lids half lazily look at him in curiosity. “Do you want me, Nicki?” He asked his voice deep in a way I had never heard before. I didn't respond due to my euphoria state. He began to move back and I opened my mouth in protest and he stopped his movements and lifted an eyebrow. I closed my mouth and went to speak again but my words caught in my throat. He went to move again and I squeaked out, quietly, “Drake...” He looked at me and saw the look on my face and sighed giving in. He offered his hand as he stood. I grasped it quickly letting him pull me up, my thong traveling to the floor. I looked at it before looking up at him. He licked his lips and pulled me into him and kissed me.
                 My eyes immediately fluttered shut at the passion he projected into it. “Fuck...” I mumbled into his lips as he worked them perfectly. I wrapped my arms around his neck pressing myself into him. He trailed his hands to my ass and squeezed. I moaned quietly into him before he pulled back and said, “Now tell me you don't feel something.” I mumbled under my breath before he pressed his lips harshly into mine and turned us around backing me into the wall near the love seat he had sat on earlier. He pressed me into the wall and he moved his lips down my neck to suck on my skin. “Tell me you want me, Nicki” He said as I tilted my head to give him more access. “I-I...”I tried to get out the words as he had his way with my neck, letting his tongue snake out and taste my skin once more. I let out a light moan as a trail of cuss words left my mouth. “Tell me.” He demanded as he pressed into me more, nipping at my collar bone. “I want you.” I said in one breath. He kissed me again fiercely letting his hand trail down my thigh as he pressed a finger right at the lips of my core, making me let out an immediate satisfied moan at his touch. He moved slowly, stroking as I bit my bottom lip, a moans slipping out from the corners of my lips.
                 “Drake....” “Do you care about me, Nicki?” I moaned as I nodded. “I want to hear you say it, baby” he murmured in my ear as he placed a kiss blow my ear. “Yes, Drake, I care.” I forced out. He rubbed at me at a faster pace. “How much do you want me right now?” He continued questioning me. He was killing me with these fucking questions and he knew it. He was getting me at my weakest point. “I want you so fucking much” I said emphasizing my words as I squeezed my eyes shut in bliss. I felt his fingers slip into me and I arched my back in a natural reaction as a loud moan left my throat. I heard him growl into the side of my neck as he quietly added another finger, creating a speedy rhythm. “Drake...” I moaned at him. “Hmm, baby?” I couldn't get any words to form in order to continue speaking. “Why did you fuck Trey?” he asked his voice turning serious. If I hadn't been in the state I was, I probably wouldn't have answered his sly ass. He knew I that I wanted it all and I would do what was needed to get it. “Drake” I groaned half in pleasure half in exasperation. He speed up and I moaned loudly nestling my head into the crook of his neck. He started to slow down to a painfully slow pace. “Don't-” I tried to get out. “Answer the question, Nic” he requested. 
             “Ahhh...” I managed to get out. “Not an answer, Nicki.” he said slowing down even more. “Fuck! I was tipsy!” I yelled breathlessly. He speed up as soon as the words left my lips. “Was his touches better than mine?” he whispered lowly into my ear as he speed up tremendously. “Fuck, no” I whispered back my head in the crook of his neck. He brought me to my edge before he stopped abruptly. I groaned my face scrunching in frustration as the echo of his small chuckle met my ears. I snapped my eyes open to glare at him but was surprised to see him getting on his knees smirking up at me. He grasped my hips positioning himself between my thighs. I watched as he hitched my leg on his shoulder still keeping eye contact with me. He kissed my hitched thigh keeping his eyes on me while I tried to keep my eyes open once again. He sucked at the skin lightly moving forward, his eyes still on my face. I let my head fall back onto the wall as he looked down at his lap where drips of my wetness landed on his clothed pants leg. He smirked up at me and lifted my shirt up with his other hand as he continued to grasp my thigh.    
               He leaned his head forward and I bit my lip in anticipation but after a few seconds passing I looked back down at him in confusion. To my surprise he grasp my other thigh and hitched my other leg onto his shoulder, pressing me against the wall. I almost grabbed at him, before feeling him steady himself. His hands balanced us on either side of me, holding us steady against the wall as he leaned his head into my core and swiped at me with his tongue.
                  Nothing could compare to the moment as he feasted on my core letting my moans fill the house and my pitch change to new heights. I moaned out incomprehensible things as I grasped his head with one hand pushing him into me. He moved back and looked up at me, letting one of my legs come off his shoulder. He used that hand to press at my core and rub as he asked me to open my eyes. I was breathless as he continued pleasuring me. “Do you love me, Nicki?” I was officially at my weakest point and I just wanted to hit the edge and fall overboard. “Do you love me, Nicki?” he asked speeding up his fingers to in impeccable speed. I moaned the loudest I had so far. “Nicki....” I locked my eyes on him “YES! I LOVE YOU! OKAY!? FUCK DRAKE! I'VE ALWAYS HAD! FUCK! NO MORE QUESTIONS!” He gave me a shit eating grin. I rested my head back onto the wall my head tilted as he speed up even more, my back arching at the pleasure that filled my body.
                “One more question” he stated. I cried out. “Drake!” “You want me, you love me?” I irritated gritted my teeth I couldn't understand what more he wanted to hear. I tiredly stated in desperation “Yes, Drake. FUCK! Yes! Yes, I want you, yes, I love you!” “Then cum for me, baby” he said his voice dripping in sex as he leaned into me and multitask, working his tongue and fingers. I cried out as he hit my g-spot continuously until I finally dived over the edge.


                 He let my leg fall from his shoulder as he licked his lips with a smile. I leaned on the wall spent my legs shaking a little. He stood up and grasped my hands as I tried to move from the wall. “You good?” He asked. “Fantastic.” I stated tiredly running a hand through my hair. I gave my self a moment before moving my weight from the wall.
                 He continued to stare at me but not with the excitement I expected him to, considering he had gotten me to confess just about everything he ever wanted to hair. “What?” I asked quietly feeling a slight self-consciousness only he could get me to have. “Did you really mean everything you said...from the Trey thing to the I love yous?” He tilted his head slightly waiting for my response. I confusedly gazed back at him. “Yea...of course I did, Drake.” He nodded and serious/determined look continued to take over his self-composure.
                  “I want you to come for me, Nicki.” I let a small giggle fall from my lips as I stated, “ I thought I already did that, Drake.” I looked at him playfully, watching as he let a small smile settle on his faith at my amusement before his serious posture occupied his demeanor again. I scrunched my face in confusion. “What are you talking about, Drake?” I asked quietly. “I want you to come after me, Nicki. As much as I want to believe you, you and I both know that you would've said anything at that point.” I was taken back as I asked with a hard laugh, “You want me to PROVE my love for you?” my head rolled a little as he nodded. “Are you serious, Drake?!” I said in a surprised way. “Nicki, do you know how long I wanted to hear you say the things you just told me?” I blinked as I counted up four years.
                   “Four years, Nicki. Can you just do this for me?” He asked. “You want me to come for you..” I restated to him. He nodded once again. “That's it.” He said. I blinked up at him. Seeing me frozen he sighed and grabbed the jacket I hadn't noticed he had brought with him. “That's it, Nicki.” He said again as he looked at me again. I went to say something but no words could form. He gave me another moment before he headed to the door. I followed him slowly watching him. “I love you, Onika.” He stated stopping and looking me dead in the eye. “I need this one thing from you.” He leaned down and pressed his full lips against my forehead and I let my eyes close in that moment feeling all his care and affection. He pulled away from me and walked out after another statement of love.

Until that moment I never realized we never do really say goodbye.
It was always a statement of love and than an exit.
I don't think that will ever change, regardless the situation.

I love you too, Aubrey.” I whispered as he pulled out my driveway and through my house gates.


       Not gonna lie, I wasn't going to update with this chapter because I thought (and still think) it was complete crap. Luckily, I have great writers and friends in TM who encouraged me and practically co-signed this chapter with their verification. 
    I hope you guys like it. Don't forget to comment. I didn't start typing this chapter til the comments reached 5. It was a really slow painful process waiting for it, trust me I felt it as much as you guys did! Thank all of you guys for the consistent reads and comments, it's definitely appreciated. ON A SIDE NOTE: Nicki Followed me on twitter in the time that I last updated and today. 1/24=BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Anyways, mucho love and thanks for reading! Spread the word!!!! xD