Wednesday, January 11, 2012


#5: Spotlight: Weak Confrontations

         We all gave our last goodbyes and waved at the fans as we walked off the stage. The guys were super hype and I tried to keep on a smile as the came over to hug me occasionally. Safaree came over towards me as I glanced at my feet. “Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded not speaking. I was honestly lost for words. I hadn't expected anything Drake had did on stage and I had no idea if anything was ever going to be worked out by the way he was acting. “Nicki...” Safaree questioned again. “I'm fine, Faree.” I stated looking him in the eyes, “Promise.”
        I headed back to the my dressing room glancing at my feet again as I walked in. “Can I talk to you?” I looked up to see Drake sitting in my makeup chair. I rolled my eyes, “Can you get the fuck out?” I asked my anger shining through as I glared at him. I kept hold of the door motioning for him to exit.     

         “Nicki, listen, I'm sorry” he started saying as he stood. I rolled my eyes once again. “I'm so sure you are, Drake. You can leave now.” I said my face holding it's strong expression. He rolled his eyes walking over to me and tried to loosen my grip on the door. “Don't FUCKING TOUCH ME.” I stated my volume increasing. “Nicki, just listen to me for a second” He said to me. I could tell his patience was already thin but at this point I didn't care. What he did was messed up and he knew it. He went to grab my arm and I quickly yanked my arm back. He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily. “Can we... Just. Talk. Please?” “Oh, now we can talk? So, it's only on your time we can talk, gotcha” I said making a face. “You can turn towards the exit, BRUH” I said giving him a look.

         His nose momentarily flared. “No.” He said staring me directly in the eyes. I glared back at him as we had a silent argument/discussion with our eyes. He shook his head and broke gaze and took a deep breath. “Nicki...I'm sorry.” I looked towards the side of my room as his gaze once again returned to me. “I know....I know I shouldn't have said those things or blown this so out of proportion but I can't help it. You have to understand that. You, if anybody, should know how it feels to give someone your all and then suddenly get left hanging.” I could feel sympathy creep through my posture and I knew he could tell I was really thinking on his words.

He always knew how to read me.
He knows how to get to me.
He always knows exactly what to say and creeps through the crevasses of my walls.
I hated it.
I could never fully ever block him out.

         “I know.” I stated quietly. My hand eased off it's hold on the door when he reached his hand out to grasp my fingers from it. He slowly brought down my hand with his and intertwined his fingers with mine. I didn't even look at him as he did this. I continued looking towards the side of the room. My emotions were getting the better of me and I wasn't liking it.

         “I can't-” I tried saying as my voice cracked. I closed my eyes holding back my tears. I hated being so emotional. “Drake, you need to realize that just like YOU have the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, so do I. I'm not yours. You can't claim me. Stop treating me like I'm something you can just calls keeps on.” I stated bringing my gaze back to him. I let go of his hand and he reached for it again and brought it to his lips. “I'm so sorry, Nicki, I know. I know better than this. I was just...I'll admit a little tipsy and you know my emotions get the better of me when I drink.” “That's NOT an excuse, Drake!” I said with a bitter small laugh. 

         I pulled my hand from him and shook my head. “No. I need you to leave” I moved around him a little towards the door again and brought my hand to the door knob.

         I felt his presence behind me as a flash of deja vu took over. I felt him let a deep breath out, the air grazing the back of my neck. My body tensed, frozen. I don't know whether my body was just reacting because of how sudden his cool breath had hit my warm skin or because it was him. I could feel my eyes start to flutter as he tried to convince me to just give him a moment.

         I could barely comprehend what he was saying to me and before I knew it his hand was easing my hand off the doorknob and once again intertwining with his.

         He had some kind of control over my body and I was hypnotized by his smooth antics. I felt his other hand shakily make it's way to my hip and pull me back a little's way letting my back make contact with his chest. My eyes fluttered shut as my face scrunched involuntarily. I could feel the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out. His heartbeat was steady against my back. The hand he had tangled with mine was brought around my waist as he half hugged me.
         I started to relax against him. He was manipulating the power he had to always make me feel at ease to get me to stop. I knew this but I couldn't help but let myself fall into his trap. I took a deep breath as his lips brought themselves down to my shoulder and kissed it lightly. “Drake...” I murmured in warning. He didn't respond and brought his slowly up my neck and kissed below my ear. I raked my teeth over my bottom lip softly as my heart speed up a little. “I'm sorry” he whispered into my ear lightly. I felt my head tilt as he kissed back down my neck murmuring his sorrys with each placement of his lips against my skin. The hand that was on my hip slid down the length of my thigh and back up to my hip in a continuation motion never moving forwards or backwards.

         He was so sensual and gentle that I couldn't fight back. I was too relaxed and at ease to even speak at this point. I felt like I was in a high from him and I couldn't get out of it.

         I felt a cold rush between us that made my eyes open and flutter suddenly. Confusion momentarily swept over me until he turned me around. I looked up at him my eyes still hazed, as he brought his hand slowly from my hip towards my face. He let his fingers delicately run over the skin of my cheek and locked our eyes. He un-entwined our other hand and brought that hand up to my neck tilting my head so I could see him more.

         He kissed my left cheek as he apologized and went for my right cheek repeating the gesture. He kissed my forehead and my nose whispering his apologies again and hesitated as he pulled back from my face locking our eyes once again. He leaned his forehead on mine and I could feel his breath on my lips. He didn't say anything for a minute as I sucked in the sincerity of his eyes and previous words. His eyes detached from mine and ran over my face before asking silent permission from me. I felt myself softly nod as my eyes fluttered in nervousness and slight impatience/anticipation. He brought his face closer to mine and let our lips graze together before pulling them back an inch. “I'm sorry” he whispered again, his voice almost cracking but holding it's own. He pressed his lips against mines slowly. A wave of emotions came over me at the sudden change of intensity he placed into that simple kiss. His lips were so soft and the kiss was so brief but it answered so many questions.

         We pulled apart and I gave him a questioning look when both our eyes were opened and locked. I was about to break the silence when a knock on my dressing room door broke our trance. I blinked and stepped back from him letting his hands drop from my face and my hands drop from the soft grasp I unawarely had on the bottom of his shirt. “Um...” I said quietly feeling the awkward air surface. 

         “Who is it?” I called at the door trying to keep my voice from cracking. Our gaze didn't break even though the trance was gone. “It's SB. Are you okay?” “Uh, yea...just...give me a minute.” “Alright,” he said from behind the door, “Hurry up though, we gotta go, YMCMB has a Meet and Greet, in case you forgot”. 
          My eyes widened as well as Drake's as realization came over us. “Shit” He mumbled to himself. “I'll be out in a second just....uh, tell the team I'm on my way soon...potty break” I said awkwardly making a weird face at my excuse. Drake lifted an eyebrow at me playfully and I rolled my eyes at him holding back a small smirk. “Iight, TMI, but I'll let them know. They still waiting for Drizzy's ass anyways” I could here his bitter undertone when saying Drake's name and I couldn't help but feel slightly comforted yet guilty about it. I heard his foot steps walk away and waited a moment before speaking. “So...I guess we better get out there” I stated. “Yea...” Drake said, his tone seeming to hold so much more to say, “I guess so”.

        This one is pretty much my favorite chapter so far. It was really intense to write. This author's note is not to let you know that though, aha. I have an official "Ghost Writer" to help me now. I introduce to you.....Nash Stone!!! 
        She is one of my girls and she will be helping with ideas for my chapters when I ask her too. She isn't going to be actually writing chapters that's still all on me. So yes, all blame goes this way. 
         You guys have been super supportive and helpful and I promise the action and drama is definitely starting now! This was just a taste of what goes down. The flashbacks will be getting more intense as to what specifically led up to that interesting first chapter. "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED" and with that quote said, I bid you all Adieu.  


  1. Love this chapter. I really cant wait to see what happened between Nicki and Drake from here. Update soon.

  2. Ah look at drizzy being all seducing. I swear, the way you write this provides such vivid imagery, it's like I can picture everything perfectly. You have such a way with words, I'm in love with your writing style. I think this is the most interesting story I've read in a very long time. I'm so glad they made up (well kinda) and I'm so damn excited to see where it goes from here. Your amazing, please post soon.

  3. Your a phenomal writer. This was intense! This chapter was my favorite too, I love how you showed how vulnerable she is when it comes to him. I can't even begin to type out how much I love this story, so I'll leave it at this, your story is fanfuckingtastic and I hope you update soon. (:

  4. Okay so u r a great writer and i love how you described nicki thoughts in the chapter post soon xoxo

  5. youre really soon and please read my blog

  6. Yooo... this is my fav chapter so far too! lol. Hope has been rejuvenated. :-) The resistance. The submission. The conffusion. The connection. & the affection.>>>>>> Drake knows & Nic does too! Liiike.. stopit5 already. I'm so excited to be caught up on my comments. Now I'm off to the new stuff. Epic job Dear.

  7. this is my first time reading your story and I am catching up and enjoying every bit. This was definitely intense and I loved every bit of it