#3: Chemistry: Things Change
I sat at my dresser as Lauren applied blush onto my cheeks. I stared at myself in the mirror trying to fight the urge to bite my pink painted lips. I didn't understand why things had become so dramatic after that one simple event. Everyone seemed so tense backstage before shows now. It got to the point where I would just sit in my dressing room until I had to go on just to avoid the vibe of the room.
There was a knock on the door as Lauren finished her final touches on me. She put away her used supplies, as I turned in my chair slightly, “Come in” I said in slight monotone. The door opened a small bit and a rushed announcement of me being needed on stage in ten was given. Before I could respond the door shut and heavy foot steps were heard walking away. I could feel small discontent at the way I was talked to but not enough for me to actually think to far into. I checked myself out one last time and straightened my dress as I stood up from my chair. I ran my fingers through the ends of my hair and rubbed my lips together, blinking at my reflection. “Well, here we go” I mumbled to myself without a hint of enthusiasm. I thanked Lauren and Terrence briefly before heading out the door with my bodyguard and SB. Another worker was there to greet me and escort all of us to the stage area and through some brief collisions of fans who I smiled and waved at.
When we arrived at the stage I could see Drake rapping towards the crowd as they screamed in reaction. I bit my lip briefly watching the interaction before being tapped on the shoulder by someone. I turned my head quickly as if being caught before realizing it was just a backstage assistant handing me a mic. I thanked them as the beginning notes of Up All Night began to play. I looked back at Safaree and he nodded to me in encouragement. I swiftly motioned him with my eyes to come stand beside me. He gave a sideways glance before making his way over to me. “You okay?” he said as soon as he was in my hearing distance. I gave him a look and he mumbled “Right, dumb question...” “They should've changed the set by now” I said monotonously. “Well, Nic, this is your job-” I glared at him. “I know what my fucking job is, so you don't need to tell me. But when I fucking tell you to make sure they change the set, why don't you do your job and listen. How about you fucking make THAT happen.” I seethed at him with intensity. Before he could respond the stage assistant told me to go. I hadn't meant to blow up at him but the pressure of this performance was to much. YMCMB held their breaths every time Drake and I were around each other. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of that now because I had a show to put on.
The lights were hot on my flesh as I walked on stage “Uh! Yo, if Drizzy say get her, I'm-a get her! I got that kind of money, make a broke bitch, bitter” I rapped while my eyes adjusted to the brightness around me. I could feel the crowd's energy and absorbed it as I began to get more into it. I made my way around the stage avoiding where Drake was standing as well as his gaze.
Gosh, I hate when he's staring like this.
It's even more intense than last night.
This has to stop.
I made my way over to him still not making eye contact. I pretended to get even more into it as I stood next to him. I couldn't even keep my thoughts straight while standing next to him. I couldn't concentrate on my words. The only thing I could think about was him. I wondered if he was having as much trouble as I was or if he was even thinking about what went down. Luckily, while in my trance I finished my part of the song and made my way back to the left side of the stage. I reached out towards the fans that shouted in admiration at me. I smiled at them as Drake continued to work his way around the stage. I through in my little comments and echoes as he sang the chorus.
I stood up and made my way to center stage as he sang the chorus one last time before ending the song. “How's everybody doing tonight?!” I said into the mic over-exasperatedly. The crowd roared and I couldn't help but let a smile slip onto my face. I glanced from the corner of my eye and saw Drake making his way towards the side of the stage. “Give it up for Drizzy Drake” I spoke into the mic as I watched him. He paused for a moment before turning to the crowd and waving with his shit eating grin. I almost copied it before catching myself and turning myself back towards the audience, letting him leave.
I continued on with my set and by the last song I had Wayne out with me rapping some old school songs he had done with me. When we had finished Wayne called out the rest of Young Money as the intro to Bed Rock played. The crowd went crazy, considering it had been years since we had all performed Bedrock together. I looked at my team on stage as they all rocked out with the amazing crowd and I couldn't help but momentarily forget the things that bothered me and just have fun. I danced around a little bit and laughed at some of the wild antics the guys did until it was my turn to take center stage and rap. As I finished Drake walked up beside me and I knew everyone expected us to interact the way we usually did. I tried to at least somewhat partially be professional and I could tell he was trying also, but it came out awkward and tentative and the team as well as the crowd could tell.
As the chorus came back around I moved to the far end of the stage by the DJ and moved with the music, mouthing the words as I rocked my hips back and forth. I felt someone walk up near me but I knew it was just one of the guys. I smiled turning my head to see who it was. My smiled became fake as I saw it was Drake and I quickly turned my head back to the crowd as Tyga started his part. I felt his arm wrap around me and press in from behind me. The crowd went buck wild as my breath hitched momentarily at his proximity. He kissed down my neck and the crowd's screams began to grow even louder. My breath grew heavy and my eyes fluttered for a second as he had his way with my neck for those few seconds. I felt his hold on my waist tighten even more as a low noise escaped my throat. His gripped tightened even more as he pulled away from my neck and brought his lips to my ear. Soon the intense pressure of his arm began to become a hurtful pressure and my face scrunched as his breathing lingered in my ear. “This is what friend's do right?” He whispered lowly with a hint of anger lingering in his voice. He gave my neck a long kiss before letting me go and walking back over to the guys as if nothing had happened. My body was immovable from shock and I stood there and watched him smile at the crowd and dance with Lil Twist. I blinked a few times before pasting a smile on for the crowd and walking over to the other end of the crowd by Wayne and touching hands with the crowds once again.
It's amazing how situations can change a person.
It's amazing how a few days can affect a performance.
It's amazing how something that seems so nonchalant can affect such an important part of your life.