Saturday, January 7, 2012



#4: Flashbacks: Domino Affect: Continuation

         I didn't let a tear fall as the last few seconds replayed in my head. I continued staring at the door my mouth slightly agape until a solid enough self-composure was set. I blinked a few times before turning towards my disastrous room. I grabbed up the rest of the things I had missed and placed them in the hamper. I started gathering Trey's clothes and placing them in the pile next to the trash can.
        I made my way over to my tangled up bed and began to rip off the sheets and covers from it and tossed them in another pile. I sighed and ran a hand through my head as Drake's words flashed in my head again. I felt a sob try to make it's way out of my throat and closed my eyes as a low whimper escaped my lips. I shook my head and headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I closed the door and took off the clothes I had recently dressed in. I stepped into the shower and stared at my feet letting the argument run through my head again and again and again.

It's been awhile since I felt like this.
 It's been a while since I lost a best friend.
It's been a while since I felt guilt like this.
 It's been a while since I've felt this confused.

           I stood under the heated water for another fifteen minutes before deciding to actually wash and get out. I made my way back into the room with a towel wrapped around my body before hearing a soft knock on the door. “Hold on, please” I said my voice cracking a little. I could feel the irritation growing in me at my weakness. I lotioned my body and put on some Pajamas to be presentable.
          I took my time walking over to the door as another knock sounded. I didn't bother responding as I reached the door. I twisted the lock and pulled against the door while turning the handle. I wasn't exactly looking at the person in front of me as arms wrapped around me.

         As soon as the arms wrapped around my figure I knew exactly who it was and the tears and emotions I had held back began to poor out my features as I practically collapsed in their arms. “It's alright, Nic. You'll be fine” They said into my hair, which was a hot mess considering nothing had been done to it yet. They pulled me away for a second as they stepped into the room pushing me a little way's back and closing the door behind them. Their arms wrapped around me again and I hugged them back.

         “Babe, what happened?” Lauren said after fifteen minutes had passed. We were now sitting on my sheet-less bed. I had myself curled in a ball with my head on Lauren's lap as she pulled the hair away from my face. I stayed silent staring at the wall. I could her momentarily hesitate before she stated, “I saw Trey come from upstairs and then I saw Drake...” I winced at the mention of his name and she felt my brief movement and sighed. “I figured that's what went down after Drake mad dashed out of the house
....especially considering Trey was half naked...” she mumbled the last part but of course I still heard her. I sat up quickly and bellowed dramatically, “It's not like I was dating either one of them! I don't understand what I did wrong! He acts like I made a commitment to him and all this shit when we're best friends and he's just- He's just...AGH!” I stood up and paced. “Calm down, Nic, it'll be fine. You just need to relax-” Lauren tried. “How am I suppose to relax when I'm losing one of my best friends because he can't get over the fact that I'm not with him!? That's not fair, Lauren! It's not fucking fair that I have to watch every fucking little thing I do because I'm worried about how he'll react. THEN FINALLY when I do something just for myself he has to fucking ruin that and now this!!! I can't deal with this, Lauren! You know how much I have riding on me right now!? There is so much shit that has to be done and I don't have time to worry about this!” “Then don't” Lauren said staring at me intensely.

          I stopped pacing in front of her and slowly placed myself beside her, leaning on her shoulder, “I wish it was that easy” I said my voice cracking a little. I covered my face with my hands and tried to put myself together. “You don't have to hold it in, Nicki....go ahead.” As soon as the words left her mouth my tears started up again and drops of water eased from my eyes pooling at my chin before falling onto the fabric of her shirt as I leaned into her more.


         I felt a heavy haze lift from my head as I awoke. I opened my eyes and I squinted as a rasping sound on my door became clear. I groaned before turning over. My face scrunched in confusion at the feel of things around me. I sat up and ooked around my room and saw everything had been neatly placed. I glanced down to see new sheets and covers on my bed. The persistent knocking against my bedroom door broke me from my confusion. I threw the covers from my body and headed towards the door. I opened the door, “Hey?” I said confusedly staring at Lauren and Candi. “Feeling better?” Lauren asked as Candi moved me aside and walked in. Lauren followed behind her with a few bags in her hand. “Um..yea, I guess. How did I-” I started pointing back at my bed. She gave me a small smile and said, “You fell asleep after your little...rant and Candi and I took care of the rest” “Thanks” I said giving them a small grateful smile. “Here” Lauren said handing me the bag, “Candi and I picked up a few things for you.” she glanced over at Candi and rolled her eyes. I turned towards the direction she looked to see Candi laid out on my bed watching tv. I let a giggle escape my lips. Candi paid us no attention as she stared dazed at the tv. I shook my head. “Thanks Lauren” I said smiling a little.      
      “You're welcome! I need to get my stuff from my room and get Terrance so we can get you ready. You have an interview at 10 so I advice you to hurry up and get ready.”         
       As soon as she said that my eyes widened and my mind went into work mode. “Oh my gosh, I almost forgot!” I hectically went around my room grabbing everything I needed for another shower and kicked Candi out of my bedroom. I made my way into the bathroom as Candi called “Fine then, heffa! I'll see you later!” I laughed as I heard the door shut and I started the water. 

 I couldn't focus on him today. 
I am Nicki Minaj after all.
I have far to much to do and do not need to waste my time thinking on boys.
...Or at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

 Just in case you didn't know italics usually means inner-thoughts. Unless, I write flashback as apart of the name of the chapter. If that is the case, then Italics BOLD means inner thoughts because of the fact that the whole chapter will be italicized.

**WARNING: Less than 5 comments, no update. I only say this because I know you guys have opinions and I love to hear them. It helps me figure out what you want to see happen next. It's inspiring for a writer to hear their reader's opinions. For those who are commenting, it is definitely appreciated. I'm sending this warning because if I promise to post at a certain time and there aren't much comments I probably won't post because it seems like you aren't that interested in the story. 

Per usual, the next chapter is already written but I like to be a chapter ahead. Any questions tweet me at @itslovedear :]  If you don't have Twitter I'm on Tumblr. Tag your question with CBF Series!


  1. I luvd this chapter! I just hope she stops telling herself that & admits she really does see Drake as more than her Bestfriend. Post soon(:

  2. I really loved this chapter!! I believe Drake is wrong for his doing, just because Nicki doesn't have the same feelings as he does. I hope things get well! BTW if you ever need any help my twitter name is TeamMINAJ_PYB

  3. This was great, as usual. Your a fantastic writer, you describe things so well, it's like I can feel what she's going through. I hope at some point they'll make up and actually be together. Post soon please.

  4. Ah poor Nicki, this was sad. But at the same time, I understand why Drake was so mad, I mean he's in love with her and she goes and fucks one of his friends. *sighs* I really hope you'll have them eventually make up, but right now they're both so hurt. Your a great writer, please keep the story going.

  5. I feel really bad for Nicki, but I understand where Drake is coming from. He was wrong for approaching the situation the way he did though. Nicki just needs to stop lying to herself and admit that she has feelings for Drake. They need to work this out asap cuz I don't like seeing my baby so upset :( . Great chapter of course. Post soon! -@TEAMinajNYC

  6. *Heavy sigh* Shout out to Lauren & Candi being there for her. I wish she could balance that drive & passion across other areas in her life. She'll get it together though. I hope. lol. I wonder how Trey feels in this situation, if he feels anything at all. Great update hun. :-)