CBF#6

#6: Flashback: Personal and Professional

I shouldn't be thinking about this right now.

I have so many things I should be going over in my head.

Damn.

Drake and I get into arguments occasionally and usually everything turns out fine.

I mean what exactly is the significance of this one?

Okay, dumb question.

You can't be mad at me for at least trying to make this seem like a simple problem.

Then again when is anything ever really simple... or easy.

        I could feel the car jerk to a stop, making my thoughts disperse as I tuned back into reality. The yells and screams seemed to come out of nowhere as I regarded the things outside of my window. I could hear the repeated re-soundings and confessions of love from my Barbz outside the window as they began to crowd around the car and throw themselves against it in attempt to get my already obtained attention.

        SB and the rest of the guys got of the car before me while I pasted on a smile. They took time to move the crowd away from the car before SB opened my door. I grabbed his hand as he helped me out the car and I gained my balance.

         I waved at the Barbz as their screams went up another notch at my presence. I looked around at all the ecstatic faces as well as at those who were crying.

This why I do this.

These amazing people are the reason I continue to go throw all the bullshit that happens to the side.

          When I finally got inside I saw Flex sitting at the mic. I smile came across my face at the sight of my good friend. “Nicki, Nicki, Nicki!” He said smiling as he stood to hug me. I brought my arms around him briefly, “Hi babe! How are you” I pulled away genuinely smiling. “I'm even better now that you're here” He stated smoothly. I rolled my eyes holding back a small laugh “Flex....” “I'm just stating truth!!” he said with surrenderence in his tone. I let a small laugh out as he glanced at the clock by the door I had just entered. His eye grew momentarily as he hobbled back to his mic and spoke into it as the song “Rack City” ended. Sb, who had been standing behind me the entire time, tapped my shoulder pointing over to the chairs.

           As we sat, Flex began an exaggerated and enthusiastic introduction of me and cued the applause. With my headphones placed on I leaned into the mic as I called to the awaiting listeners, “What's good!?” “Mama, may I say you look amazing today” I rolled my eyes as I said, “Flex, are you going to keep hitting on me or....cause I thought this was gonna be professional, boo” He smiled hugely as he replied, “You know I can't resist. WHO CAN!?” He let out a huge smile. “Well, ya know...” I said. “Oop, oop, someone's cocky today! Is Roman in the building?!” He questioned loudly. “Hmmm...” I started thoughtfully, “I'm not sure yet, we'll have to see later” I finished as my London accent surfaced. “Well, I guess we will. I'm so glad you're here. I have a feeling this is going to be an amazing interview and I can't wait to get into it.” “Pauz. Me too, Flex.”         
       Flex announced another song as I tried to continue focusing.

________

            “Wait! So let me get this straight he fell down the entire flight of stairs!?” Flex questioned with another laugh. “Yep, that's what he gets for trying to act like he had game!” Flex laughed harder, “The girl just walked away to, like she didn't see NOTHING.” “Woooow,” Flex said calming himself. “Better luck next time, Twist” he called out. “Now...we've gotten past the business stuff and some generic questions...so you know what I've got to do now, right?” He asked.'


             I groaned into the mic “Flex, do you HAVE to do this? I thought you loved me, Flex?” I felt my lip curl as he shrugged and said “Sorry, mama, got to do it.” “Alright...let's get this over with” I said over-exaggeratedly annoyed. “Alright, Nicki...are you dating anyone?” “No.” I said with a bored look. “Okay, are you talking with anyone?” “I talk to people everyday, Flex.” I stated in a smart-Alec way as my voice took a hint of innocence as I blinked at him. Flex gave me a look, “You know what I mean...are you-” “No Flex, I'm not dating anyone or talking to anyone. I don't have a sideman. I'm single. I'm good.”
            “I know you're probably going to say the same thing but....we all got to know specifics...are you dating Drake?” I hesitantly paused when I heard Drake's name as a flood of emotions and memories flashed across my mind.

I could feel the breath on my lips as he pulled away from me.

 I had gotten over my astonishment and surprise and let me my body talk for me instead of pushing him away. 

He brought his hands up my hips, raising my shirt as they traveled towards my chest.

 I held back a moan until I felt his lips on my neck. 

The noise slipped past my lips as I scratched at his back, my leg hitched on to him and he brought one hand down to grasp that thigh tightly.

 He pressed me further into the wall working his lips against my skin as I scraped my finger nails across his shoulders, simultaneously moaning his name. 

“Fuck” he said breathlessly as he pulled his lips away from the skin of my neck and pressed them back to mine.

            “I-uh..” I stuttered. Sb looked at me like I was crazy and Flex looked surprised. “Um..no, w-we're just friends...” I said clearing my throat a little at the end. “Okay...” Flex said awkwardly, “We'll be back with some final questions right after this amazing song that Nicki features in with Rihanna called, Raining Men. Don't change the station.”   


          He clicked off as the song began to play and I didn't even look at Safaree as I took my headphones off. “Can I get some water please?” I asked to one of the assistants standing near. I leaned back in my chair as I went over the momentary slip-up that might have just started something huge.

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I know I said I was going to do a one-shot but I decide to just type the rest of the chapter and save the one-shot for a time when I'm ultra busy and can't post anytime soon. Just a little hold over/back-up one shot. Nash Stone helped me a LOT with this idea as a matter a fact she helped me with most of it. I had no idea where to go with the flashbacks only the main plot so **applauses for her**.

I promised you guys I would post this before I had to leave for the entire weekend and here it is! I know it is kind of short but I hope it'll hold you over until my competition season chills out since we JUST started.

Thanks for the continuous support! Keep those comments up, Barbz! I see you!

*MUWAH!* *MUWAH!*

-IT'S BIANCA BITCHHHHHHH!

Side Note: ***Important***

Side Note:

Hey guys! My competition season has started and I have absolutely no time.

I plan on posting a chapter before I leave for my first competition this Saturday but I don't know if that's going to happen.

That's why I'm working on a mini one shot for you guys just to hold you over.

It's already semi-done and I'll work on the chapter itself more next week.

I talked to my co-writer and she even offered to type up a chapter for me while I'm gone!

Unfortunately, I'm very picky about how I write so I turned the opportunity down and I will take full responsibility for any mishaps that goes down!

Hope you guys understand!

Mucho Love!!!

______

*MUWAH!* *MUWAH!*

IT'S BIANCA BITCHHHHHH

CBF#5

#5: Spotlight: Weak Confrontations

         We all gave our last goodbyes and waved at the fans as we walked off the stage. The guys were super hype and I tried to keep on a smile as the came over to hug me occasionally. Safaree came over towards me as I glanced at my feet. “Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded not speaking. I was honestly lost for words. I hadn't expected anything Drake had did on stage and I had no idea if anything was ever going to be worked out by the way he was acting. “Nicki...” Safaree questioned again. “I'm fine, Faree.” I stated looking him in the eyes, “Promise.”

        I headed back to the my dressing room glancing at my feet again as I walked in. “Can I talk to you?” I looked up to see Drake sitting in my makeup chair. I rolled my eyes, “Can you get the fuck out?” I asked my anger shining through as I glared at him. I kept hold of the door motioning for him to exit.     

         “Nicki, listen, I'm sorry” he started saying as he stood. I rolled my eyes once again. “I'm so sure you are, Drake. You can leave now.” I said my face holding it's strong expression. He rolled his eyes walking over to me and tried to loosen my grip on the door. “Don't FUCKING TOUCH ME.” I stated my volume increasing. “Nicki, just listen to me for a second” He said to me. I could tell his patience was already thin but at this point I didn't care. What he did was messed up and he knew it. He went to grab my arm and I quickly yanked my arm back. He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily. “Can we... Just. Talk. Please?” “Oh, now we can talk? So, it's only on your time we can talk, gotcha” I said making a face. “You can turn towards the exit, BRUH” I said giving him a look.

         His nose momentarily flared. “No.” He said staring me directly in the eyes. I glared back at him as we had a silent argument/discussion with our eyes. He shook his head and broke gaze and took a deep breath. “Nicki...I'm sorry.” I looked towards the side of my room as his gaze once again returned to me. “I know....I know I shouldn't have said those things or blown this so out of proportion but I can't help it. You have to understand that. You, if anybody, should know how it feels to give someone your all and then suddenly get left hanging.” I could feel sympathy creep through my posture and I knew he could tell I was really thinking on his words.

He always knew how to read me.

He knows how to get to me.

He always knows exactly what to say and creeps through the crevasses of my walls.

I hated it.

I could never fully ever block him out.

         “I know.” I stated quietly. My hand eased off it's hold on the door when he reached his hand out to grasp my fingers from it. He slowly brought down my hand with his and intertwined his fingers with mine. I didn't even look at him as he did this. I continued looking towards the side of the room. My emotions were getting the better of me and I wasn't liking it.

         “I can't-” I tried saying as my voice cracked. I closed my eyes holding back my tears. I hated being so emotional. “Drake, you need to realize that just like YOU have the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, so do I. I'm not yours. You can't claim me. Stop treating me like I'm something you can just calls keeps on.” I stated bringing my gaze back to him. I let go of his hand and he reached for it again and brought it to his lips. “I'm so sorry, Nicki, I know. I know better than this. I was just...I'll admit a little tipsy and you know my emotions get the better of me when I drink.” “That's NOT an excuse, Drake!” I said with a bitter small laugh. 

         I pulled my hand from him and shook my head. “No. I need you to leave” I moved around him a little towards the door again and brought my hand to the door knob.

         I felt his presence behind me as a flash of deja vu took over. I felt him let a deep breath out, the air grazing the back of my neck. My body tensed, frozen. I don't know whether my body was just reacting because of how sudden his cool breath had hit my warm skin or because it was him. I could feel my eyes start to flutter as he tried to convince me to just give him a moment.

         I could barely comprehend what he was saying to me and before I knew it his hand was easing my hand off the doorknob and once again intertwining with his.

         He had some kind of control over my body and I was hypnotized by his smooth antics. I felt his other hand shakily make it's way to my hip and pull me back a little's way letting my back make contact with his chest. My eyes fluttered shut as my face scrunched involuntarily. I could feel the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out. His heartbeat was steady against my back. The hand he had tangled with mine was brought around my waist as he half hugged me.

         I started to relax against him. He was manipulating the power he had to always make me feel at ease to get me to stop. I knew this but I couldn't help but let myself fall into his trap. I took a deep breath as his lips brought themselves down to my shoulder and kissed it lightly. “Drake...” I murmured in warning. He didn't respond and brought his slowly up my neck and kissed below my ear. I raked my teeth over my bottom lip softly as my heart speed up a little. “I'm sorry” he whispered into my ear lightly. I felt my head tilt as he kissed back down my neck murmuring his sorrys with each placement of his lips against my skin. The hand that was on my hip slid down the length of my thigh and back up to my hip in a continuation motion never moving forwards or backwards.

         He was so sensual and gentle that I couldn't fight back. I was too relaxed and at ease to even speak at this point. I felt like I was in a high from him and I couldn't get out of it.

         I felt a cold rush between us that made my eyes open and flutter suddenly. Confusion momentarily swept over me until he turned me around. I looked up at him my eyes still hazed, as he brought his hand slowly from my hip towards my face. He let his fingers delicately run over the skin of my cheek and locked our eyes. He un-entwined our other hand and brought that hand up to my neck tilting my head so I could see him more.

         He kissed my left cheek as he apologized and went for my right cheek repeating the gesture. He kissed my forehead and my nose whispering his apologies again and hesitated as he pulled back from my face locking our eyes once again. He leaned his forehead on mine and I could feel his breath on my lips. He didn't say anything for a minute as I sucked in the sincerity of his eyes and previous words. His eyes detached from mine and ran over my face before asking silent permission from me. I felt myself softly nod as my eyes fluttered in nervousness and slight impatience/anticipation. He brought his face closer to mine and let our lips graze together before pulling them back an inch. “I'm sorry” he whispered again, his voice almost cracking but holding it's own. He pressed his lips against mines slowly. A wave of emotions came over me at the sudden change of intensity he placed into that simple kiss. His lips were so soft and the kiss was so brief but it answered so many questions.

         We pulled apart and I gave him a questioning look when both our eyes were opened and locked. I was about to break the silence when a knock on my dressing room door broke our trance. I blinked and stepped back from him letting his hands drop from my face and my hands drop from the soft grasp I unawarely had on the bottom of his shirt. “Um...” I said quietly feeling the awkward air surface. 

         “Who is it?” I called at the door trying to keep my voice from cracking. Our gaze didn't break even though the trance was gone. “It's SB. Are you okay?” “Uh, yea...just...give me a minute.” “Alright,” he said from behind the door, “Hurry up though, we gotta go, YMCMB has a Meet and Greet, in case you forgot”. 

          My eyes widened as well as Drake's as realization came over us. “Shit” He mumbled to himself. “I'll be out in a second just....uh, tell the team I'm on my way soon...potty break” I said awkwardly making a weird face at my excuse. Drake lifted an eyebrow at me playfully and I rolled my eyes at him holding back a small smirk. “Iight, TMI, but I'll let them know. They still waiting for Drizzy's ass anyways” I could here his bitter undertone when saying Drake's name and I couldn't help but feel slightly comforted yet guilty about it. I heard his foot steps walk away and waited a moment before speaking. “So...I guess we better get out there” I stated. “Yea...” Drake said, his tone seeming to hold so much more to say, “I guess so”.

_____________

        This one is pretty much my favorite chapter so far. It was really intense to write. This author's note is not to let you know that though, aha. I have an official "Ghost Writer" to help me now. I introduce to you.....Nash Stone!!! 
        She is one of my girls and she will be helping with ideas for my chapters when I ask her too. She isn't going to be actually writing chapters that's still all on me. So yes, all blame goes this way. 
         You guys have been super supportive and helpful and I promise the action and drama is definitely starting now! This was just a taste of what goes down. The flashbacks will be getting more intense as to what specifically led up to that interesting first chapter. "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED" and with that quote said, I bid you all Adieu.  

CPF#4

**Filler**

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#4: Flashbacks: Domino Affect: Continuation

         I didn't let a tear fall as the last few seconds replayed in my head. I continued staring at the door my mouth slightly agape until a solid enough self-composure was set. I blinked a few times before turning towards my disastrous room. I grabbed up the rest of the things I had missed and placed them in the hamper. I started gathering Trey's clothes and placing them in the pile next to the trash can.

        I made my way over to my tangled up bed and began to rip off the sheets and covers from it and tossed them in another pile. I sighed and ran a hand through my head as Drake's words flashed in my head again. I felt a sob try to make it's way out of my throat and closed my eyes as a low whimper escaped my lips. I shook my head and headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I closed the door and took off the clothes I had recently dressed in. I stepped into the shower and stared at my feet letting the argument run through my head again and again and again.

Damn.

It's been awhile since I felt like this.
 It's been a while since I lost a best friend.

It's been a while since I felt guilt like this.
 It's been a while since I've felt this confused.

           I stood under the heated water for another fifteen minutes before deciding to actually wash and get out. I made my way back into the room with a towel wrapped around my body before hearing a soft knock on the door. “Hold on, please” I said my voice cracking a little. I could feel the irritation growing in me at my weakness. I lotioned my body and put on some Pajamas to be presentable.

          I took my time walking over to the door as another knock sounded. I didn't bother responding as I reached the door. I twisted the lock and pulled against the door while turning the handle. I wasn't exactly looking at the person in front of me as arms wrapped around me.

         As soon as the arms wrapped around my figure I knew exactly who it was and the tears and emotions I had held back began to poor out my features as I practically collapsed in their arms. “It's alright, Nic. You'll be fine” They said into my hair, which was a hot mess considering nothing had been done to it yet. They pulled me away for a second as they stepped into the room pushing me a little way's back and closing the door behind them. Their arms wrapped around me again and I hugged them back.

         “Babe, what happened?” Lauren said after fifteen minutes had passed. We were now sitting on my sheet-less bed. I had myself curled in a ball with my head on Lauren's lap as she pulled the hair away from my face. I stayed silent staring at the wall. I could her momentarily hesitate before she stated, “I saw Trey come from upstairs and then I saw Drake...” I winced at the mention of his name and she felt my brief movement and sighed. “I figured that's what went down after Drake mad dashed out of the house

....especially considering Trey was half naked...” she mumbled the last part but of course I still heard her. I sat up quickly and bellowed dramatically, “It's not like I was dating either one of them! I don't understand what I did wrong! He acts like I made a commitment to him and all this shit when we're best friends and he's just- He's just...AGH!” I stood up and paced. “Calm down, Nic, it'll be fine. You just need to relax-” Lauren tried. “How am I suppose to relax when I'm losing one of my best friends because he can't get over the fact that I'm not with him!? That's not fair, Lauren! It's not fucking fair that I have to watch every fucking little thing I do because I'm worried about how he'll react. THEN FINALLY when I do something just for myself he has to fucking ruin that and now this!!! I can't deal with this, Lauren! You know how much I have riding on me right now!? There is so much shit that has to be done and I don't have time to worry about this!” “Then don't” Lauren said staring at me intensely.

          I stopped pacing in front of her and slowly placed myself beside her, leaning on her shoulder, “I wish it was that easy” I said my voice cracking a little. I covered my face with my hands and tried to put myself together. “You don't have to hold it in, Nicki....go ahead.” As soon as the words left her mouth my tears started up again and drops of water eased from my eyes pooling at my chin before falling onto the fabric of her shirt as I leaned into her more.

_______

         I felt a heavy haze lift from my head as I awoke. I opened my eyes and I squinted as a rasping sound on my door became clear. I groaned before turning over. My face scrunched in confusion at the feel of things around me. I sat up and ooked around my room and saw everything had been neatly placed. I glanced down to see new sheets and covers on my bed. The persistent knocking against my bedroom door broke me from my confusion. I threw the covers from my body and headed towards the door. I opened the door, “Hey?” I said confusedly staring at Lauren and Candi. “Feeling better?” Lauren asked as Candi moved me aside and walked in. Lauren followed behind her with a few bags in her hand. “Um..yea, I guess. How did I-” I started pointing back at my bed. She gave me a small smile and said, “You fell asleep after your little...rant and Candi and I took care of the rest” “Thanks” I said giving them a small grateful smile. “Here” Lauren said handing me the bag, “Candi and I picked up a few things for you.” she glanced over at Candi and rolled her eyes. I turned towards the direction she looked to see Candi laid out on my bed watching tv. I let a giggle escape my lips. Candi paid us no attention as she stared dazed at the tv. I shook my head. “Thanks Lauren” I said smiling a little.      

      “You're welcome! I need to get my stuff from my room and get Terrance so we can get you ready. You have an interview at 10 so I advice you to hurry up and get ready.”         

       As soon as she said that my eyes widened and my mind went into work mode. “Oh my gosh, I almost forgot!” I hectically went around my room grabbing everything I needed for another shower and kicked Candi out of my bedroom. I made my way into the bathroom as Candi called “Fine then, heffa! I'll see you later!” I laughed as I heard the door shut and I started the water. 

 I couldn't focus on him today. 

I am Nicki Minaj after all.
I have far to much to do and do not need to waste my time thinking on boys.

...Or at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

____________

 Just in case you didn't know italics usually means inner-thoughts. Unless, I write flashback as apart of the name of the chapter. If that is the case, then Italics BOLD means inner thoughts because of the fact that the whole chapter will be italicized.

**WARNING: Less than 5 comments, no update. I only say this because I know you guys have opinions and I love to hear them. It helps me figure out what you want to see happen next. It's inspiring for a writer to hear their reader's opinions. For those who are commenting, it is definitely appreciated. I'm sending this warning because if I promise to post at a certain time and there aren't much comments I probably won't post because it seems like you aren't that interested in the story. 

Per usual, the next chapter is already written but I like to be a chapter ahead. Any questions tweet me at @itslovedear :]  If you don't have Twitter I'm on Tumblr. Tag your question with CBF Series!

CBF#3

#3: Chemistry: Things Change

            I sat at my dresser as Lauren applied blush onto my cheeks. I stared at myself in the mirror trying to fight the urge to bite my pink painted lips. I didn't understand why things had become so dramatic after that one simple event. Everyone seemed so tense backstage before shows now. It got to the point where I would just sit in my dressing room until I had to go on just to avoid the vibe of the room.

            There was a knock on the door as Lauren finished her final touches on me. She put away her used supplies, as I turned in my chair slightly, “Come in” I said in slight monotone. The door opened a small bit and a rushed announcement of me being needed on stage in ten was given. Before I could respond the door shut and heavy foot steps were heard walking away. I could feel small discontent at the way I was talked to but not enough for me to actually think to far into. I checked myself out one last time and straightened my dress as I stood up from my chair. I ran my fingers through the ends of my hair and rubbed my lips together, blinking at my reflection. “Well, here we go” I mumbled to myself without a hint of enthusiasm. I thanked Lauren and Terrence briefly before heading out the door with my bodyguard and SB. Another worker was there to greet me and escort all of us to the stage area and through some brief collisions of fans who I smiled and waved at.

               When we arrived at the stage I could see Drake rapping towards the crowd as they screamed in reaction. I bit my lip briefly watching the interaction before being tapped on the shoulder by someone. I turned my head quickly as if being caught before realizing it was just a backstage assistant handing me a mic. I thanked them as the beginning notes of Up All Night began to play. I looked back at Safaree and he nodded to me in encouragement. I swiftly motioned him with my eyes to come stand beside me. He gave a sideways glance before making his way over to me. “You okay?” he said as soon as he was in my hearing distance. I gave him a look and he mumbled “Right, dumb question...” “They should've changed the set by now” I said monotonously. “Well, Nic, this is your job-” I glared at him. “I know what my fucking job is, so you don't need to tell me. But when I fucking tell you to make sure they change the set, why don't you do your job and listen. How about you fucking make THAT happen.” I seethed at him with intensity. Before he could respond the stage assistant told me to go. I hadn't meant to blow up at him but the pressure of this performance was to much. YMCMB held their breaths every time Drake and I were around each other. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of that now because I had a show to put on.

                 The lights were hot on my flesh as I walked on stage “Uh! Yo, if Drizzy say get her, I'm-a get her! I got that kind of money, make a broke bitch, bitter” I rapped while my eyes adjusted to the brightness around me. I could feel the crowd's energy and absorbed it as I began to get more into it. I made my way around the stage avoiding where Drake was standing as well as his gaze.

Gosh, I hate when he's staring like this.

It's even more intense than last night.

This has to stop.

Now.

                  I made my way over to him still not making eye contact. I pretended to get even more into it as I stood next to him. I couldn't even keep my thoughts straight while standing next to him. I couldn't concentrate on my words. The only thing I could think about was him. I wondered if he was having as much trouble as I was or if he was even thinking about what went down. Luckily, while in my trance I finished my part of the song and made my way back to the left side of the stage. I reached out towards the fans that shouted in admiration at me. I smiled at them as Drake continued to work his way around the stage. I through in my little comments and echoes as he sang the chorus.

                  I stood up and made my way to center stage as he sang the chorus one last time before ending the song. “How's everybody doing tonight?!” I said into the mic over-exasperatedly. The crowd roared and I couldn't help but let a smile slip onto my face. I glanced from the corner of my eye and saw Drake making his way towards the side of the stage. “Give it up for Drizzy Drake” I spoke into the mic as I watched him. He paused for a moment before turning to the crowd and waving with his shit eating grin. I almost copied it before catching myself and turning myself back towards the audience, letting him leave.

                 I continued on with my set and by the last song I had Wayne out with me rapping some old school songs he had done with me. When we had finished Wayne called out the rest of Young Money as the intro to Bed Rock played. The crowd went crazy, considering it had been years since we had all performed Bedrock together. I looked at my team on stage as they all rocked out with the amazing crowd and I couldn't help but momentarily forget the things that bothered me and just have fun. I danced around a little bit and laughed at some of the wild antics the guys did until it was my turn to take center stage and rap. As I finished Drake walked up beside me and I knew everyone expected us to interact the way we usually did. I tried to at least somewhat partially be professional and I could tell he was trying also, but it came out awkward and tentative and the team as well as the crowd could tell.

                As the chorus came back around I moved to the far end of the stage by the DJ and moved with the music, mouthing the words as I rocked my hips back and forth. I felt someone walk up near me but I knew it was just one of the guys. I smiled turning my head to see who it was. My smiled became fake as I saw it was Drake and I quickly turned my head back to the crowd as Tyga started his part. I felt his arm wrap around me and press in from behind me. The crowd went buck wild as my breath hitched momentarily at his proximity. He kissed down my neck and the crowd's screams began to grow even louder. My breath grew heavy and my eyes fluttered for a second as he had his way with my neck for those few seconds. I felt his hold on my waist tighten even more as a low noise escaped my throat. His gripped tightened even more as he pulled away from my neck and brought his lips to my ear. Soon the intense pressure of his arm began to become a hurtful pressure and my face scrunched as his breathing lingered in my ear. “This is what friend's do right?” He whispered lowly with a hint of anger lingering in his voice. He gave my neck a long kiss before letting me go and walking back over to the guys as if nothing had happened. My body was immovable from shock and I stood there and watched him smile at the crowd and dance with Lil Twist. I blinked a few times before pasting a smile on for the crowd and walking over to the other end of the crowd by Wayne and touching hands with the crowds once again.

It's amazing how situations can change a person.

It's amazing how a few days can affect a performance.

It's amazing how something that seems so nonchalant can affect such an important part of your life.

CBF #2

#2: Flashback: Caught In Words

            “Oh... yes! Right there! Hmmm...” I moaned aloud my eyes squeezed together as I relished in the ecstasy. “Right there, baby?” He questioned again as he continued pleasuring me. “Uhh” I managed to get out. I knew he was trying to get me to talk but I could barely think at this point.

I don't even remember how we got to this point. There was talking and a little sip of this and that. I remember me making a move to go back to my room and him offering to escort me there since Safaree started complaining about not wanting to leave the get together downstairs. From that point, I really couldn't remember anything else.

              “What'd you say, baby, I didn't hear you?” He spoke softly to me as he pressed me further into the mattress. “Uhh, Tr-Tre...” I barely got out before there was a hard knock against my door. My daze was broken as I sat up. Gasping a little, I shoved Trey off of my body. “Shit!” I cussed a loud trying to gather up my clothes while throwing Trey's towards the general area where he sat. “Nicki! You okay in there?” I heard from behind the door. My eyes widen at the sound of Drizzy's voice. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...” I mumbled continuously in a low whisper. I manically made my way around the room throwing on the clothes of mine that I had already found, which at this point was only my undergarments. “Uh...I'm-I'm good just hold on I-” I glanced up momentarily as I stepped. I felt something slide from beneath my feet causing me to face plant into the carpeted floor with a thump. I stared at Trey's shoe with a glare before Drake's voice broke my gaze and my eyes shifted to the closed door. “Are you sure? Nicki?! I'm coming in!” Before I could make my protests against the statement, the door swung open and Drake stepped through the framed gap.

               “Are you o-” His voice cut off as he took in the scene around him. “What the fuck is this?!” He exclaimed. You could see the total surprise and shock that was on his face. I got up slowly, “I um..we um...” I looked at the half clothed Trey in a panicked manner as he looked between me and Drizzy. He mumbled something incoherently and rushed out the room. I rolled my eyes, shooting a small glare his way, watching him leave. “Oh... so that's why you won't get with me? That nigga? Are you kidding? One of my own fucking guys, Nic?!” “We're just friends, Drake!” I exclaimed rolling my eyes as I gathered up the rest of my clothes from around the room. “So that's what 'friends' do now a days, huh? They fuck with other niggas friends. You KNOW that I'm in love with you, Nicki!” “Drake! Why, the fuck does it always have to be what YOU want. What about what I want!?!?” “Well, it's obvious that it's not me you want! You don't want morals either it seems by the way you were fucking your great 'FRIEND' over there!” he briefly flailed his arms towards the door Trey had left through with an eye roll. “You'd rather whore around like a little slut.” I knew he was saying things out of anger but I was about to fuck him up if he kept up that shit talk. He knew that wasn't true and he knew I wasn't like that.

                 “Who the fuck are you” I stated walking towards him with a glare, “calling a slut!? Like you can talk shit!?” I exclaimed with slight laughter at the situation. “Playa, you might want to reflect and try again! The only person even close to a whore or slut in here is you.” I stated poking him in his chest. “You got three girls a week, why the fuck can I not get me some once in a fucking blue moon! Oh, my bad I'm suppose to be yours right!?” I said tilting my head as I looked up at him intensely. “Isn't that what you told me?” I asked him with attitude. He kept silent as I stared at him. I shook my head taking a step back, “I fucking told you we are friends. FUCKING. FRIENDS. Drake!” I said. I could see the anger seething through him but I could feel his demeanor change.

              His voice was low and had a surreal calmness that came out of no where. “You know what...you're right. You can fuck whoever the hell you want because you're not a whore, you're right. I'm just a stupid ass guy, waiting around for another woman that doesn't want me because you know what, I'm an idiot. I actually felt something for you even after all of your fucking continuous rejections and dramatic shit and that makes me an idiot. My bad.” “Drake...” I said my voice fading off. I wasn't liking how this conversation was going. “No, no. My bad, Nicki. My fault. Let me take my dumb ass comments back that I've said to you over the past few years because I mean, what the fuck do I know right?” He laughed bitterly.     

         “Drake, that's not what I meant and you know that.” I stated my face falling as the depth in his eyes became a bitter black spot of blocked emotion. “Mean what you say and say what you mean...but that makes me a hypocrite as well, right? But I'll tell you this...I meant what I said when I told you I was in love with you...and you meant what you said when you said you saw me as a brother...even after last week when you gave into me..” A small smile peeked on his face momentarily and was wiped off as fast as it came. “It was a moment of weakness, right?” He asked as he saw me beginning to object. “I took that night as you finally beginning to feel something for me...ya know...after you told me all those little lies about how your perspective of me was changing. My bad for taking you seriously. Jokes right?” “Drake...” I barely got out as my eyes welled up a little. He shook his head giving me one last long glance before turning around and leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. I felt my lip quiver as I stood there for a few minutes staring at the door that he had left through.

___________________________

*AN: THAT'S Y U MAD! THAT'S Y U MAD, MAD, Drake? (Ha-ha, I just had to.)

Thanks for all the love and comments! You guys have really been making my day. I hope you continue to read as the story line develops. I'm warning you now there might be some slow moments because this is the beginning developing process. Don't expect every chapter to be totally amazing. Aha! Anyways, thank you all again. The more comments, the sooner the post. Your comments really do motivate me to get my lazy tail up and write. I do have chapter 3 already done but I like to be a chapter ahead of what I post. Thanks again, loves.

*MUWAH!* *MUWAH!*

CBF#1

(Love Of The Complicated Sort Series)

Can't Be Friends

#1: YMCMB: The Now

He knows I can feel his eyes on me, that's why he's staring. 

I wish he would stop. He acts as if I was lying to him.

           I brought my glass steadily to my lips and took a small sip of the Rose that lingered in my cup. The thumping of the music continued to ring in my ears followed by the rhymes of Wayne being played through the speakers. I stood in the near corner of the club watching Wayne make a full of himself as he popped Champagne with Mack, Shanelle, and the rest of the gang. I smiled as Wayne laughed spilling some of the expensive liquor over Gudda's shirt causing a course of laughter to fill out in the main VIP area. 

            “You're not gonna join them?” I heard from behind me. “I would but I don't think he wants me anywhere near him right now...” I took another slow sip from my cup as I turned towards Safaree. “Well, he's tripping anyways, you ain't never even dated him. There's no reason for you to be hiding from this nigga.” I could smell the essence of Vodka in his breath making me momentarily scrunch my face before replying, “Well, he sure as hell takes bullshit hard.” I glanced over towards the man of our conversation before rolling my eyes. “Whatever...” I mumbled under my breath. 

          “Hey.” I heard Safaree say to me gaining back my attention, “Don't let no young nigga ruin your good time. This is the first time YMCMB has ALL been together since the tour! Celebrate!” Safaree made a fake cheering noise almost spilling his cup. “Damn, nigga, watch that shit!” I said backing up a little and holding back a laugh. “Oh my bad, short stuff, I forgot.” I rolled my eyes at him playfully before letting my eyes take in the sight of the club one more time. 

          “I think I'm gonna go though...you know the club scene isn't really me.” I stated looking back at Safaree. “Iight! Do you! I'm about to head over to her right there...” he said trailing off his words and drifting into the crowd. “Thanks for the care, Safaree” I huffed under my breath before making my way to the main VIP section.

               “THERE SHE IS!” Wayne exclaimed as I came into their view. “Where have you been at, shorty?!?!? You said you'd be back then just left us Negros hanging over here!” I laughed smiling at him and shaking my head “How much exactly have you had to drink, Wayne” I said giving him a look. “Naw! Don't be trying to change the subject!” He said waving one of his hands franticly. “I was just people watching, Lil Negro” I said putting emphasis on Lil. His face turned into a weird expression suddenly before he head nodded me over to the side. I rolled my eyes knowing what was coming, it was the same question everyone seemed to be asking me lately.

             “Home boy still tripping?” “What do you think” I stated giving him a side eye as I finished off the last bit of my drink and set the cup down on a nearby table. I heard Wayne take in a few sobering deep breaths as I looked anywhere but at him. “He'll come around” He stated. I wanted to believe him and for a second I almost did until another thought crept into my head. “Wayne... you know that feeling when you really want something and you put so much effort into it and you're so sure that sooner or later you're gonna get” I paused for a second, seeing him nod from the corner of my eye as I continued to look around the club, “Yea, it was like that when I wanted to get into this Music Industry shit” He answered me. “Well, what if you were almost there and then someone took it away from you right as you reached for it right as it was practically in the palm of your hands...now... tell me, would you have been okay?” 

             I saw him hesitate and knew I had gotten my point across. I began the journey back to the VIP main room leaving him there dumbfounded and picked up my purse off the couch near Mack and Shanelle. I gave them my good byes along with almost everybody else and headed towards the doors of the club. As I squeezed through multitudes of people I couldn't help but wonder why I seemed to be standing up for him after all the words he said.I paused for a moment and looked back to where I had seen the man of my conversations sitting at before. The seat was empty and I took a deep breath. I couldn't tell if I was happy to not find him or if I was uneased at his presence no longer being there but either way the feeling wasn't enough to stop me from leaving from the overly-crowded atmosphere of the building and heading back to my hotel.